I have to pick up my heart and soul off the floor each morning when I realize the world situation was not just a nightmare that goes away upon waking. It is an on going nightmare which begins upon waking.
This is when I must remind myself of nature that is unfolding naturally, not knowing anything but it's own creation, and how it must proceed.
What makes it worse is that we are stuck living with my in laws with no hope of a job or to get out of the country again. What makes it even worse yet, is that it never warms up for too long here even in May. As I write this I notice snow flakes making their way down fortunately melting as they hit the ground.
It can be nice enough for a light jacket one day and the next day it's snowing on the few spring plants and flowers that managed to break through during the short spurts of semi warm weather. I cheer for them.
I saw a tree with spring blooms so beautiful bringing me relief as I admired it.
The birds seem to be unaffected by everything. Their songs help to keep my head up reminding me of freedom.
The other day I received the best gift that I have gotten for a while. The older Italian lady next door knew I was attempting a garden and she called me to the fence with a bag in her hand. She handed me the bag and I looked inside. It was seeds. There were beans and my favorite which was basil. She remembered that I told her I wanted to grow basil in the garden. Right away I made a trench and scattered some seeds inside. I have never planted seeds in a garden before. I put some beans in the ground too. it called for frost overnight so I kept some of everything aside.
When I saw the beans I thought why would we buy beans in a special seed pack from the garden center when we can just buy beans in a bag that we get for cooking.
Anyway the fact that it comes from her dried up plants from years and years of her garden, means a lot to me.
After she gave me the seeds she toddled up her back stairs went inside and came back to her yard with a tool. She has onions that popped up from last year so she dug one up for me. I was thrilled.
It was a moment where I could put aside my anxiety and feel the same as the family dog,
Bruce enjoyed the fresh air while I chased him off the garden soil and back onto the grass. He loves to lay there.
Yesterday we walked to a distant store to get essentials. On the way we saw some gardening going on at the Buddist place. I don't know exactly what goes on there but it seems to be a zen like place of worship right in a residential section of Montreal. It was nice to see the statue being surrounded by flowers and plants.
Passing by one of the parks which is open except for the playgrounds that have yellow tape around them, and the dog park area, we saw two ladies and some sweet puppies enjoying the sun that managed to get through the clouds.
Everyone seems to have their dogs off leash which of course could bring a fine. I think they are rebelling after the closure of the dog park.
Another little rascal was determined to catch himself a squirrel. He was unsuccessful.
Upon leaving the park we noticed three police cars in front of a house. This is a decent average neighborhood so it made us wonder why they were there. In the old days we would have guessed that it was domestic violence. Now we wonder who was having a backyard barbecue with their family and/or friends. We wonder if a neighbor called to report them.
The trains going from town to town and across the city are constantly running yet we have never seen a soul riding them.
We are really disenchanted by this section of town. It's drab and boring. Of course it doesn't matter so much these days.
The area is called Notre Dame De Grace also known as N.D.G. I always refer to it as No Damn Good. Disgruntled I am.
We finally made it to our destination and had to wait in line to go in. It's pretty annoying to have to shuffle forward, but not too much.
When I got waved inside the lady began to tell me to wash my hands and I cut her off to complete her sentence by saying,
"yes and follow the arrows and stay away from everyone." She giggled and said " Oui exactement"
Alright I'll stop ranting now and remind myself that I have a place to stay and my first opportunity to garden. It's all I ever wanted. I just wish it was under different circumstances.😐