I am never a priority even to myself
But it doesn't matter to me at all
My happiness is simply to see you smile
So, to achieve that, I give it my all
But I'm only human... I need a break, too
And it hurts me to see you unsatisfied and blue
All the things I did were just like empty air
They were never enough; I just cry in despair
I feel that you no longer need someone like me
So you're lowkey saying to get lost and leave
What should I do for I have only lived
To please the people I love all these years
But when they give up on me and say
You're no longer needed; just go away!
I guess there's only one thing left to do
To cease to exist, and say goodbye forever, too
I don't know what to do anymore... I always feel guilty when I do something for myself because I have never really done it that much... and every time I did in the past, I can't exactly become happy because I know I could cause some trouble to others. I try to be careful and keep what I want deep in my heart and not tell anyone because it may inconvenience them. I try to keep this happy facade, but actually, I don't know when the last time I was genuinely happy was. I seek pleasure and happiness from my hobbies... but recently, I don't even find watching anime amusing these days, that I skipped watching it for the past few days... more than a week now, I guess. I don't like what I'm feeling right now... Distracting myself like I used to doesn't work anymore...
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