In life, no matter what you do, you can never run away from offences. In fact, the more you try to avoid it, the more it locates you. As you interact with people, in your day-to-day life, by reason of difference in personalities and whatnot, offences will surely come. However, it is what you do in the face of offences and how you deal with it that will determine if you will be weakened by it or not. Trust me, nothing weakens someone as harbouring unforgiveness in one's heart against someone for what they have done to you. But when you let go, you will experience inner peace.
Forgiveness is not a favour that you do to the offender, but it is what you do for your own self for the sake of your inner peace. There was a time that someone offended me in a manner that I never expected. In fact, to make it more hurtful, it came from someone that I never expected it from, so it hit differently. On top of that, she never deemed it necessary to even apologise but was claiming right. To add to it, she tried to turn everything in a manipulative way to make me look guilty. I felt so bad and for a few days, I nursed the offence in my heart.
Those few days were depressing for me, and I had a lot of sad moods and all. In fact, just the memory of what had happened sent sadness down my mind until I made up my mind to forgive her. After the decision, it was like a breath of fresh air came into my soul. I felt at ease and my peace was restored. The joy that I had lost after the incidence was also restored by the seemingly little act of forgiveness. That was when I realized that unforgiveness is actually a punishment that one does to themself. There is a kind of heaviness that comes into your heart when you bear someone's offences in your heart. This is why you need to just let them go.
If you have ever experienced unforgiveness, you will know how tormenting it can be. If you suddenly come across or run into the person that offended you, whom you bear the unforgiveness for, your heart will pound so fast or may even skip some beats. More so, it will make you uncomfortable and may even have instant psychological effects on you. But if your mind is plain and void of offences, nothing will move you in that manner and you will live a happier and more fulfilled life. This is why you do not have to let offences and anger hold you down. You may not determine when or how offences will come but you can determine how to respond to it.
If you allow someone's wrong acts towards you to determine your mood and hold you down in a prolonged anger, then the person has control over you. Anyone that can determine your actions and reactions already has control over a very major part of you. But when you act in a different manner from the way they expected, you will become unpredictable. Sometimes, some people may offend you because they know you will feel bad about it and they just want you to feel bad, so do not give them the privilege of seeing you sad and furious. You can just commonize the offences and move on from them.
That you have forgiven someone for what they did to you, whether they apologized or not, and that you no longer have the offence in your heart does not mean that you should allow their friendship. You can forgive someone and still keep them at "arm's length." After all, no one is forcing you be someone else's friend. In addition to this, you have to also learn to mind your business - this can save you from a lot of offences that you may not be able to deal with. That someone is another person's enemy does not mean that you should inherit that enmity. When you live without keeping grudges in your mind against anyone, you will see how enjoyable life will be.
Thanks for reading
It's so true that holding onto unforgiveness only burdens ourselves. Your story resonates deeply. Forgiveness truly is liberating, a gift to ourselves. It's a reminder to let go of bitterness and embrace inner peace. Thank you for sharing this insightful perspective on handling offenses. Peace to you too!
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Well said. We should learn to forgive and let go of the offence for our own good.
Thanks friend
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Certain offences are indeed difficult to forgive, but indeed we are doing ourselves a favour if we learn to forgive andlet go of hurts.
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That's right. It may be difficult to forgive but it is necessary because of our inner peace.
Thanks friend.
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