When I go to get along with someone seriously, I find that people are different, but more of the same. The stars that like together and the activities they like together are more common than differences.
The more classic example is ideal, and when you look at the constitution of each country, you will find many similar words. Then know that the ideal blueprint of human is similar, and the destination to go is a place.
1. behind every difficult story, there is a struggle. Behind every setback, there is persistence, behind every misfortune, there is survival. The psychologist is to point his curiosity to the story that was not told.
The classic question is: How did you carry it so hard? How do you get rid of the wine in this dilemma? After 45 years of depression, how do you not only have love, but also successfully realize your childhood dream and become a train driver?
First, point out how difficult the current environment is, where is the point of the problem, and then point out where the ability point is? What are the achievements achieved? Especially when it comes to the most proud places to visit.
I think of an example of my life: a friend around me. Some depression and self doubt, temporarily resigned. Not in a good state. I live at home every day. Then she asked me, "am I having a question?"
And my response is: you have such a good child, have your own house, I think it proves you are great, no problem.
I know she is very proud of her children, because he has been admitted to a key university in Beijing from a small county. It was a very proud thing for her.
And there are real estate, no rent, can ensure that living expenses are not so large, at home to rest a day two days, even a month and two months, are no problem.
Her reply is that I feel very happy after she talked to you. And I realized that the knowledge and skills I learned were becoming tools to help people around me. I really reached out a hand and pulled her.
It's really cool. I see myself very good, very strong, really feel I can do, I can do this well. I found myself satisfying myself. I was excellent and great.
2. I told you that my life story is unusual. Many people have their own pride. It may be a trivial thing in the eyes of others, but it is unusual to be different from others in his own view and surpass others.
The counselor needs to find this point to satisfy a person's narcissism. There are probably two ways to make you feel good about me and the other is to make you feel better than him. Because the core of narcissism is these two.
Looking for those advantages, focusing on amplification, there will be miracles. There are many wonders listed in the book. Before I first contact this school, I didn't expect that there would be a word for visitors to see his own advantages and achieve growth.
3. clarify the purpose and the place where you want to go most. Sign a contract. Psychological consultation is a service, which has contracts. Besides the real contract, it also negotiate to reach a target contract.
The visitor and the consultant negotiate a place to go. The two people expressed their opinions, set goals and executable programs on where the visitors will be in the future.
The goal set should meet three conditions: what the client wants to achieve and the scope of the consultant's ability can be achieved through the joint efforts of both parties.
This goal must be floor and measurable. The meaning of life is to be yourself. Every life wants to grow, he wants to grow up.
The visitor knew the place he wanted to go in his own heart. What the consultant has to do is find it, move it from subconscious to consciousness, and then set steps for this goal and find steps.
Set a goal that represents the results, not the process. That is to say, set the destination, not the path. That is to find the outcome, not to say nothing.