当"癌症之王"降临，才懂亲情无价

昨天证实了一个晴天霹雳般的事情，小后宝贝的爷爷，我的爸爸几乎被确诊所谓的癌症之王胰腺癌。起因是最近这段时间体重下降的比较厉害，且还伴有咳嗽，就在上个星期天去医院做了检查，一个是胸部CT、一个是腹部CT。昨天上午老婆第一时间在手机APP上查看检查结果，当时出来的是腹部CT的报告，提示肝脏上面有低密度影怀疑是肿瘤转移，但是没有说原发肿瘤在什么器官上面。但是肿瘤已经转移了，显然让人乐观不起来。

我丈母娘正好在家做饭，她很好心的没有第一时间把检查结果告诉我爸，让他安心在家好好的吃了一顿午餐，然后才敦促他下午去医院。我也从单位请了半天假，在医院下午上班之前，赶去医院陪他就医。

直到这时，他的胸部CT结果还没有出来。因为他有吸烟的历史，且他以前的工作是煅工，有在炉子前面工作的经历，所以肺多少有些问题，我们还以为是肺癌转移。不过医生看了片子之后，说肝上的转移肿瘤大都来自腹腔的器官，可能是胰腺，但是普通CT的片子看不清楚，需要做加强CT。于是就开了检查单，预约在今天做进一步的检查，同时他也开了一些查血的单子，其中有一项是对应胰腺癌的肿瘤标记物，昨天下午结果出来以后显示指标非常的高，所以可以说基本上是确定的。

一开始我尽量不让我爸了解到真实情况，都是一个人带着检查报告去问医生的，怕给他带来心理压力。不过他看到我进了医生的房间之后，自己也主动跟了进来。

几乎相同的事情我在10年前经历了一遍。当时我的母亲也是因为食欲不振，去医院做了一次检查，就被查出是肝癌晚期。此时此刻恰如彼时彼刻，知道这个情况，心里真是非常的难受。不过爸爸他倒是一副至少表面上看上去很坦然的样子。他知道这是最厉害的癌症。还反过来安慰我，“所有人都有这一天的，你自己的身体也不是很好，小宝贝还小，还需要你照顾。”

也许在父亲看来，这一生已经可以算圆满了，至少比我妈要强，毕竟看到了我成家立业也抱上了孙女，而且现在孙女已经上小学三年级了，或许觉得自己没有多少遗憾了吧。

而我是多少有些愧疚的。因为父亲是50后，他成长的历史环境，与我在改革开放以后成长起来的历史环境迥然不同。自从我成年之后，我们的思想差异就比较大，聊不到一起来。虽然在一起生活也很少沟通，现在在剩下的短短的时间内也来不及弥补了。其实亲情比什么都重要。因为一些想法和观念上的不同，而影响到亲情是非常不值得的。

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Yesterday it was confirmed in a thunderbolt that little Queen Baby's grandpa, my dad was almost diagnosed with the so-called king of cancer pancreatic cancer. The cause is that the recent weight loss is more severe, and also accompanied by cough, last Sunday went to the hospital for examination, one is chest CT, one is abdominal CT. Yesterday morning, my wife checked the examination results on the mobile phone APP for the first time, and the report of abdominal CT came out at that time, indicating that there was a low-density shadow on the liver and suspected tumor metastasis, but did not say what organ the primary tumor was on. But the tumor has metastasized, which is obviously not encouraging.

My mother-in-law was cooking at home. She was kind enough not to tell my father the results of the examination at the first time, so that he could have a good lunch at home and then urge him to go to the hospital in the afternoon. I also asked for a half-day leave from the unit and rushed to the hospital to accompany him to medical treatment before going to work in the afternoon.

At this point, his chest CT results were still pending. Because he had a history of smoking, and he used to work as a calciner in front of a stove, so there was something wrong with his lungs, and we thought it was metastatic lung cancer. However, after seeing the film, the doctor said that most of the metastatic tumors on the liver came from the abdominal organ, possibly the pancreas, but the ordinary CT film could not see clearly, and it was necessary to do enhanced CT. At the same time, he also made a list of blood tests, one of which was tumor markers corresponding to pancreatic cancer. After the results came out yesterday afternoon, the indicators were very high, so it can be said that it was basically confirmed.

At the beginning, I tried not to let my father know the real situation. I always brought the examination report to the doctor alone, for fear of bringing psychological pressure to him. But when he saw me go into the doctor's room, he came in himself.

Almost the same thing happened to me 10 years ago. At that time, my mother was also because of lack of appetite, went to the hospital for an examination, and was found to be late liver cancer. This moment is just like that moment, knowing this situation, my heart is really very uncomfortable. Dad, though, seemed at least outwardly calm. He knew it was the worst kind of cancer. He also comforted me in turn, "Everyone has this day, your own body is not very good, the baby is still small, still need you to take care of."

Perhaps in my father's view, this life can be considered complete, at least better than my mother, after all, I saw my family and career also held the granddaughter, and now the granddaughter has been in the third grade of primary school, perhaps feel that they do not have many regrets.

And I kind of feel guilty about it. Because my father was born in the 1950s, the historical environment he grew up in was very different from the historical environment I grew up in after the reform and opening up. Ever since I came of age, our minds have been too different to talk together. Although there is very little communication in the life together, it is too late to make up for it in the short time left. In fact, the family is more important than anything. Because some ideas and concepts are different, and affect the family is very unworthy.