Validation

Validation

We live in a world today where seeking approval or validation from others has become almost viral fever for many people.

The emergence of social media, low self-esteem, inferiority complex etc.. among people have been built up either knowingly or unknowingly in us.
Such that we desperately look for people to say to us; oh you look great today, that speech you gave was awesome, You're beautiful, you are a kind or a thoughtful person, you have a lovely house, you have a nice car b among other compliments.
Before we can come to believe or realise that we are actually good at something.
I say "we" because I have been a victim too for so many years. And it has been a self destructive tool to my own progress in life.
From being told I can never write properly because I couldn't use my right hand effectively, to being told I have a quivering tone to my voice so I can never have the boldness to talk or speak in public. These days they are happily far behind me now.

How did I do it?
I began to build myself in private and in secret. I first, acknowledged to myself in tears that yes, I suck. I lacked the confidence to speak to people in public and I sucked at writing too. And after admitting all these to myself wholeheartedly, I began to learn, affirm to my own self everyday that I can write, that I can speak and command words like a boss. I also joined Toastmasters Club, a public speaking and presentation club that helped me hone and perfect my hidden skills today.
And guess what, you can do it too whoever you are, wherever you are today.

So from now on, instead of waiting for someone to validate you or approve positively of you, be your own validation, be your own approval king or queen.
Project your own life positively unto others...if they fail to see and appreciate who you truly are, count it as their loss.

Don't you dare go questioning your senses or judgement; as to why they didn't like, appreciate or approve this about you or that.

In this life, you are not in competition with anyone but yourself. Do not rob yourself of understanding this basic principle of inner peace and love.
Not everyone is your friend, and most of all, not everyone is your enemy.
Not everyone will be your biggest cheerleader, not everyone will believe in your dreams and aspirations.
Choose and decide to be awesome anyway.
You owe yourself that positive vibe everyday.

Let me leave you with these super self value building tips:

• Fail in private
  *Accept and own your own mistakes and failures
• Cry your tears out and critically assess yourself in private
• Learn to make mistakes and grow in private

You will have to show people only results not the whole show of your life.
And hear this, you are the only one who is solely responsible for your own life. Nobody else but you.

I pray you learn from my grave past mistakes I have shared with you today to re transform and re design your life.

Remember this, you have your own self to build and work on, not a community of people to impress.

Be wise!!!!

Love you.

Kwame Sarpong
Freelance Writer
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