My Father Is a Strong Man, So Am I: Facing Challenges Together

I have worked a lot in the cardiology ward and have seen many patients, but I have seen very few as brave as my father, Mashallah. A few days back I mentioned that my father needed a bypass which finallyy took place yesterday. His bypass was scheduled to start at the 8:00 am in the mornibfg and it typically lasts 5 to 7 hours depending on how many grafts needed to be placed and also if the patient has any other comorbidities or associated diseases which might affect the cardiac surgery.

---

The day before yesterday in the evening, my father had been admitted to the hispiotal and we had to spend the whole night there. For many days there had been a lot of emotional conversations at our home and everyone was worried about my father’s health. The day we were waiting for or rather you could say that the day we never wanted to come, finally arrived and we took my father to the hospital where his bed was allotted where he had to spend the entire night there. My father was already in a fasting state for 12 hours and then a doctor came for a round and told him to rest because his surgery was scheduled for the next morning. But honestly, how can someone rest knowing they have a potentially life-threatening surgery the next morning?

---

If you don’t know about bypass surgery, the procedure is called CABG (Coronary Artery Bypass Graft). The heart's job is to supply blood to all organs and every part of the body, but think about it—if the heart itself doesn't get its blood supply, how will it function? The heart has three major arteries that supply it with blood. If, God forbid, one of them gets blocked, it is usually opened with an intervention, such as angioplasty or stent placement. Some people even have two arteries blocked, and they can also be opened with an intervention. But if all three arteries are blocked, it’s called 3VD (Three Vessel Disease), and the best option is bypass surgery because instead of opening all three arteries, you create an alternate route, i.e., you place a blood vessel to bypass the blockage. Now, where does this alternate blood vessel come from? It’s usually taken from another part of the body and placed to create a bypass for the heart, ensuring it gets its blood supply. Typically, a graft is taken from the leg, specifically a superficial vein called the saphenous vein. If three grafts need to be placed, the saphenous vein might not be enough, so another artery is taken from the chest, called the Left Internal Mammary Artery (LIMA). This artery is chosen because it’s located close to the heart, and there are other arteries in the chest that can compensate for its removal, so it doesn’t cause much harm.

Source	Source

---

Anyway, my father is also a doctor, so he knew all about the procedure. There was some fear, but my father wasn’t worried about himself. He was most concerned about me and my younger brother. He had strange thoughts, wondering who would take care of us if something happened to him during the operation. Because of this, he couldn’t sleep the whole night, and I kept telling him to try to rest. My father is the kind of person who said, ‘Son, I’ll get some rest under anesthesia during the surgery, but when will you get rest? You’re the one who should be sleeping!’ Even in such an intense situation, my father didn’t lose his sense of humor. Anyway, my father said he wasn’t worried, nor was he afraid, and we kept talking, reminiscing about old times when our family had good moments together. Believe me, during those times, we were sharing our deepest thoughts. My father asked me questions he had never asked before, and I answered them truthfully. He kept roasting me and giving me advice at the same time. I will never forget that night. At around 2 AM, I pleaded with my father to at least lie down and close his eyes if he couldn’t sleep. He eventually lay down, and while I was sitting, I dozed off for about two hours. My father’s family also arrived in the morning around 6:00 AM, and it was time to bid him farewell.

---

Everyone said their goodbyes to him, and then he met my mother before going into the pre-operative room, where no one was allowed. Since I had done my internship there, and all the consultants and doctors knew me, I was allowed inside. My brother Huzaifa, who was also wearing scrubs, had access too.

Until then, I had made up my mind to attend the operation in the theatre, thinking I had the courage to witness it since I’ve seen other surgeries before, so why not my father’s? With full confidence, I asked the surgeon,

‘Please do not consider my request as an attendant but as a future cardiac surgeon, allow me to attend the operation theatre.’

---

He said he was expecting that from me, so he had prepared only two words for me, which were ‘absolutely not.’

All I could say at that time was, ‘No problem, sir, I understand. May Allah help you, best of luck, and now my father is in your hands.’

He had known me for some months because I had worked under him in the ward but not in surgery before. Anyway, I went back to the pre-operative area to be with my dad until he was taken to the operating theatre. I had my final talk with my dad, and I had never felt so vulnerable before. At that point, I was weak, but not my dad. I was thinking of stopping my dad from going into the operation theatre, while on the other hand, my dad was saying,

‘If anything happens during the operation, just take care of your younger brother and your mother.’

---

And I was like,

‘No, Baba, you have many more days to live to annoy my mother.’ Hahaha. ‘Baba, you don’t usually get scared, but if you do in the operation theatre, remember that I love you the most.’

---

And those were the last words I told him before he went in. A few minutes later, he was taken to the operating theatre, and I just watched him go. At that moment, the surgeon came to me and said,

‘Don’t be sad, kid. It’s not appropriate even for a consultant to attend the surgery of their close ones. You’re just a medical student now, and I can never allow your first surgery to be a CABG, especially on your own father. I see you as a future cardiac surgeon, but this isn’t the right way to start your career. I hope we can attend a surgery together in the future, and I’ll be there to teach you myself.’

This comment from my future aspirational surgeon gave me a lot of comfort and affirmation.

---

But I had told my father that if they didn’t let me into the operation theatre, I wouldn’t be able to wait at the hospital. The anxiety would be too much for me, so I would go home. But it happened that on the day of the operation, all the networks were down. I couldn’t even call my brother. No one knew where anyone was because, although I had access inside, my brother was probably standing outside somewhere, and God forbid, if there was an emergency or blood was needed, who would go and tell him? No one could even make a phone call, so I had no choice but to sit outside the operation theatre the entire time. Despite not wanting to, I had to imagine the entire bypass procedure happening on my father. Even the guard there got annoyed with me, asking why I kept inquiring about the surgery every half hour, telling me that only the doctors could update me and that I should wait outside. I tried my best not to disturb anyone and just wait outside the operation theatre without drawing attention.

---

Finally, at 2:00 PM in the afternoon, the anesthetist came out, and I asked him about the outcome, how my father was doing. He told me it would take at least two more hours. I didn’t question anything further and just waited and prayed as much as I could. By 3:30 PM, I was imagining my father on the heart-lung machine, which is a device used during heart surgery when the heart is stopped, and the body’s functions are maintained by the machine. The final step is the most dangerous one, where the heart is connected with the bypass graft and its function is checked. God forbid, if there’s even a slight mistake during the surgery or the body doesn’t support it, that’s when the most complications occur, and it’s very difficult to handle. That much I knew about the surgery, and at that time, all I could do was pray as much as I could. Suddenly, the light in the operation theatre turned off, and I saw the consultant coming out. I didn’t have the strength to run after him and ask about my father’s condition. Suddenly, I heard the sound of a stretcher, and I saw my father being wheeled out. My vision became so blurred that I couldn’t see anything clearly, nor could I make sense of how to look at my father. He was taken to the ICU, and I couldn’t even see his face. I don’t know what happened to me at that moment. That’s when I realized the consultant was absolutely right not to let me into the operation theatre.

When I tried to head towards the ICU, the surgeon's right-hand assistant held me back and explained that my father was perfectly fine and that his surgery had been completely successful. He explained the entire procedure to me and mentioned that my father had both a stroke of bad luck and good luck during the operation. As soon as I heard the term "bad luck," my heart sank again, but he reassured me. He told me that due to the screws that were placed in my father's right leg from an accident four years ago, they decided not to take the saphenous vein from the right leg, even though it is usually taken from the right leg in CABG procedures because the left vein is not useful in 90% of the population for CABG. He said that, fortunately, my father's left leg graft worked for the surgery, otherwise, they would have had to open the right leg as well.

I rushed to the ICU to see my dad. I was so overwhelmed that I couldn’t even think about going outside to find my brothers and tell them that dad’s operation was over, especially since I couldn’t make any calls due to the network issues. I ran straight to the ICU, but the doctor told me to wait a little longer as they needed to get my dad ready for me to see him. After a wait of 5 to 10 minutes he finally allowed me to get in and when I saw my dad, my eyes filled with tears. I saw him unconscious (on a ventilator) with an endotracheal tube in his mouth. It was so difficult to see him like that thatt I had never imagined I would see my dad in such a condition ever. I completely forgot that my family was waiting outside for my signal and just stood there watching my dad as the doctors and staff administered drips and other treatments to him.

---

After 25 minutes I saw my brothers and my father’s brother coming in one by one as the staff had informed my family that the operation was successful and now hes in recovery. They came and left but I stayed by my father’s bedside. I literally stood there for 2 to 3 hours just watching him in that condition. I thought to myself that I needed to go home because I couldn’t bear to see my father like this until he regained consciousness.

---

I returned home at 8:00 p.m. and went to sleep. When I woke up at 2:00 a.m. I checked our family group chat and saw a message from my brother saying that my father had regained consciousness and was asking for all of us. At that moment, only one question ran through my mind: did my father remember the last sentence I told him before the operation? I immediately got ready and rushed to the hospital early in the morning.

"Pooch rahe the tum sabka" - "He had been asking for all of you"

---

When I got there, they didn’t allow me to enter the ICU since it was still nighttime and told me I’d have to wait for an hour or two. I scrubbed in and waited to see my dad.

Me All Ready To See My Dad

---

After a few moments, when I finally stood before him and he opened his eyes, I literally saw tears in his eyes. He was still under the effects of anesthesia, and it was very difficult for him to move his hand. But he tried his best and motioned with his fingers for me to come closer. When I approached, he said to me, "I know what you're going to ask me, and the answer is yes, son, I remember. And that thought gave me a lot of strength. And you were right—I may have been given a few more days to annoy all of you and your mother. Hahaha." And then I got tears in my eyes too. I couldn’t even hug him, as we had to maintain some distance for his critical care.

---

I spent the whole day by his side. Alhamdulillah, he has regained much of his strength. He is still in the ICU and in the recovery process. I request all of you to keep me, my family, and especially my father in your prayers. My father is a very strong man, and I am really proud of him.

---

regards,
@abdu.navi03