On Living Without Sharp Edges...

Some 25 years and change ago, my friend Diana remarked that my "unique characteristic" seemed to be that I had "no sharp edges."

It was intended neither as a compliment nor as a put-down... it was simply an observation.

I suppose most people do have sharp edges, or corners, or spiky energy. Perhaps I am delusional in saying that I have perhaps only met 2-3 people in my life who felt as if there were no sharp edges on them.

Now, perhaps I should clarify what I mean here.

It's purely an energetic thing. That's not New-Age woo-woo, by the way... it's the same thing perfectly "normal" and neurotypical people say when they observe that they are "getting a bad vibe" from someone.

Most humans are "dangerous" in some fashion, as "sensed" by our stone age brain and instincts that were fine-tuned to know when a potential predator was about to enter our cave.

In this modern world of ours, those "sharp edges" are often developed and enhanced by the fact that we live lives in which we have to be aggressive and competitive in order to "get anywhere" in life.

Diana had sharp edges. It was one of the reason our friendship never progressed into an actual relationship.

Not having any sharp edges isn't about anything like "being nice" or being particularly agreeable, of which I am neither. Well... at least not very much.

A lack of sharp edges feels more like a person who is completely non-threatening, whether you're a baby, a 16-year old girl, or a mobility challenged elder.

The result seems to be that random people in random places seem to start up conversations with me, and confess their troubles without my — in any way — inviting it.

Perhaps it amplifies itself because I am neither shut off nor welcoming of such incidents. If you've ever been around cats, you might have noticed how a cat can enter a room filled with people and "instinctually" locate the person who most afraid of cats AND the person who's basically the "cat whisperer."

Even the most feral of cats tend to find me and jump in my lap because they know I am "safe."

It's neither a good or a bad thing... it's simply a thing.

Whereas I do understand a fair bit about psychology, and I am always happy to comfort someone in distress... there's nothing to be envious of.

Everybody in the world is looking for "their own thing" and their own vibe... and — in most cases — that vibe is something very different from what they, themselves, embody.

Now, you might wonder what this strange post is about. More than anything, it's about a memory. But it's also about someone —quite recently — who "wished they were more like me."*

And all I could do was assure them that they really didn't.

We seldom think through what it is we believe we want, in life, in another person.

I admire the heck out of life's "fearless types" who can walk into any situation and immediately control and manage it.

There was a time when I thought I wanted to BE that.

But any and every type of person and personality has benefits and drawbacks. We might see those benefits, but our cognitive blinders make us forget about the drawbacks.

I'm OK with having no sharp edges, but it's not always all it's cracked up to be...

Thanks for stopping by, and have a great weekend!

How about you? How do other people perceive you? Soft? Hard? Aggressive? Passive?Do you wish you could change something about your core being? Leave a comment if you feel so inclined — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!

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Created at 2024.10.25 23:55 PDT
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