Psychology and Personality: Life as a Peacemaker-Diplomat

"Nature vs. Nurture"

There are some things we learn in life, and then there are some we are simply born with.

People and their personalities can be a bit of a dodgy topic at times... particularly when it comes to inborn traits and characteristics. Some folks get deeply offended by the idea that there are aspects of their behavior that they don't control, entirely.

I have always been a peacemaker.

Whether I try to escape from that characterization or not, I inevitably end up in situations where I find myself being the diplomat who insists that we solve problems by talking, rather than fighting.

I don't think this is learned behavior. It's just what I naturally reach for... perhaps because I am very oriented towards resolution of problems and challenges. In some ways, it seems like the realities of life are simply underscoring my nature; when I observe people I experience far better outcomes when people make peace with each other than when they just want to "go at it" till someone "wins."

Of course, this peacemaking tendency has often gotten me labeled as "wishy-washy" and a bit of a "fence sitter." I have contemplated that, over the years... and perhaps what is really true is that I tend to be measured and deliberate, rather than impulsive.

When I try to remember life as far back as I can go, into my childhood, I do remember some of my very earliest thoughts about people — usually my extended family — was the mystery of why can't people just get ALONG?"

Of course, I was told that I would "understand" once I became an adult... which I have now been for forty years and I still find myself pondering why people can't just get along!

Particularly, I have never been able to really understand those who seem to quarrel regularly, almost for sport. I remember a woman I knew in my University days who insisted that she needed to "have a good fight" with her boyfriend 2-3 times a week, or she'd "become bored!"

Being a peacemaker personality definitely has its challenges, one of which is an inclination to fall into a sort of "self-forgetting," which is the result of perhaps thinking too much about how to maintain harmony between the people we know and care about... and forgetting ourselves in the process.

Bottom line: I just don't like fighting, and it never seems like it leads to anything... aside from more fighting.

Thanks for reading, and have a great weekend!

How about YOU? Are there certain parts of your personality that just seem to "BE" there? Are there certain patterns you always seem to follow, whether you consciously TRY, or not? Leave a comment — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!

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Created at 20210626 00:44 PDT
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