How does one actually become a Goth?

A few days ago, my doorbell rang - I was expecting a young Korean art student who was interested in collected issues of an art magazine via ebay and was registered for collection. When I opened the door, there stood a full-grown Manga-Animè cosplay art figure with pink-silver dyed hair, 15cm high platforms under her feet, huge round eyes behind tiny nickel glasses and a cartoonishly frivolous schoolgirl look.

Apart from the fact that this kind of self-expression does not suit my aesthetics at all, it was perfect! I don't know if there are also questionable excesses of self-optimisation in the scene, up to and including plastic surgery in unnatural dimensions - I just don't know about that. I don't like it because of the garishly colourful styling, the intentional childishness with overflowing eroticism - and the music that goes hand in hand with it makes everything even more unbearable... But: the girl was really perfect! I can admire that...

Photo: Netfund

And poof, the reflections had drifted into a scene in which I used to spend quite some time myself. It seems so totally the opposite, not cheerful and colourful, not squeaky-clean. But at the end of the day it's just a form of striking self-portrayal:

How does one actually become a Goth?

It's all a question of appearances... (Except for those who are really crazy, see above - they're probably everywhere...).

Photo: Netfund

In any case, always wear black! White (as a frilly shirt) or blood-red (e.g. as the lining of a cape) is only permitted in exceptional cases.

The outfit itself should either be made of patent leather, somehow à la the Middle Ages, vampire-like or otherwise appear old and dusty. For men, leather coats, capes and laced trousers are preferred. Women please in (too) tight corsages or provocative dresses. Fishnets or simply torn tights are not bad either.

Silver jewellery is absolutely necessary. Inverted crosses, pentagrams, necklaces, skulls, rings, etc. Jewellery that somehow looks like S&M is best - studded necklaces, piercing rings and the like. Shoes must be either pointed and studded with buckles or metal studded lace-up boots. For women, high-heeled domina boots or lace-up shoes reaching to the waist are a must. These should be decorated with chains or bells.

The skin colour must always be pale. If necessary, use make-up. Black eyes; ornate decorations that incorporate the piercing jewellery and thus enhance the overall facial impression can never do any harm. So there is an absolute ban on sun!!! If you can't avoid it, then only with a sunshade, glasses and sunscreen with a sun protection factor of at least 375!!!! Hair: Best long - or off! Always black! Only in exceptional cases is red or white-blond allowed. Shaved parts are quite welcome.

Of course, facial expressions and gestures are also important for your appearance. So when walking, you should get into the habit of a shuffling gait, with drooping shoulders and a look that slides from bottom to top. This should always be quite angry towards "normal people". Among like-minded people, an "I-carry-all-the-world's-pain" expression is appropriate. This is by all means the most difficult part. To imitate, I recommend the depictions of Jesus in Catholic churches (i.e. only the scenes where he hangs on the cross!!!!) and intensive study of the film "The Crow". Brandon Lee actually wears the perfect facial features as the main character. Incidentally, the general appearance also includes the absolute LAUGHING PROHIBITION!!!!

The music is dark, melancholic, world-weariness and bass-heavy. It is allowed to boom from the heavy metal corner or to hail electro beats. The lyrics are hopeless to suicidal, resigned and full of tragedy.

People ALWAYS dance in circles in the relevant clubs. The dance is slow and resembles the aforementioned running movements. Two steps forward and one back. The whole thing with hanging arms and lowered head. Always nice and slow. Apart from that, look arrogant, check out your surroundings, never get loud and don't talk so much!!!!.

It is also important that you always have this same appearance. Even if you might get into trouble in normal life. (You get kicked out of your parents' house, you get fired by your boss, you get beaten up by skinheads on the street...). Such experiences may be painful, but they also help you to get the right perspective. And nothing is worse than being recognised by a few disco acquaintances in the shopping centre during the day and being outed as a "leisure goth"!!!!. Because that's definitely the end of the line!!!!)

Photo: Catalogue illustration Steampunk Lady

At that time, I was mainly interested in the music, the dark impression of the usual locations where such events were held. The outfits didn't seem too uniform in the mass of goths, because there were so many directions (steampunk - photo example - was pretty much mine ;-)) and yet it didn't overload me in terms of colour or style. Yes, I thought it was cool. It lasted three or four years, then I got tired of it, because it does affect your mood in the long run. You didn't have quite as much distance to yourself as it seemed at first... I simply couldn't do that to myself.

I wonder if the little Korean girl will be able to look back on her present "incarnation" with amusement in a few years' time...?