One of the things we often deal with in the psychology and mental health field is that of repeated behavior.
You probably know that from your own life: You end up doing something in a particular situation and afterwards you recognize that you "always do that!"
Much as we'd like to think that everything we do is the result of our individual free will, there are only so many stories we can tell ourselves about life, and why we do things the way we do.
And so, we end up with these repeated behaviors.
I should add that there's nothing inherently negative about repetition! The key here is to have a sufficient level of awareness, and particularly to be able to recognize when a repetitive pattern becomes a problem or outright toxic.
One of the common ways many of us repeat ourselves is in our relationships, and in the partners we choose. Over the years, I have talked to many clients who confess to having chosen their partners more out of a sense of familiarity than as a result of love and compatibility.
In many cases, they are "acting out" a dynamic from their childhood and upbringing, and it's not until they recognize their pattern that it becomes possible for them to start making choices that a more in alignment with who they truly are.
So why do we repeat old patterns? "Familiarity" can play a major role. Even if we are not making ideal choices, we are at least making familiar choices. Alas, that doesn't make them good!
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