Ring - Kanzenban (1995) Review + Film

Ring - Kanzenban (1995)
Rating: 1/5
AKA: VCR, Recorded!
Watch Here: https://www.bitchute.com/video/ntndZbTXSlrr/

You Don’t Say? XD

Since Dead By Daylight came out with their Sadako Rising DLC (Which Fucking Blows) – Got a bit of the old dick twitch, a hankering if you will; to pursue the Japanese OG versions of The Ring.

I’ve never cared for The Ring or the Grudge, or any of the Western Remake Bullshit Era. Thankfully it doesn’t rear its ugly head too often anymore, well aside from anime.

This entry however, is quite a nice little made for TV movie.

A reporter becomes entangled in a bizarre string of sudden deaths in youths, seemingly taking place at the same time. During his investigation he stumbles across a video that the teens had watched and finds himself cursed to die unless he abides by the videos demand.

Problem is the portion of the video tape telling this cat how to fix his shit, has been erased. So, he partners up with a professor buddy of his and sets out to solve this mystery!

Bulk of the movie is a nice mystery/investigation where you learn more about the tapes origins etc. With this version of the Ring, Sadako is a hermaphrodite with psyhic powers.

Not even joking – Similar to how gender bending issues were used during this time and earlier, it’s actually well written and makes sense.

You can’t say that today because gender bullshit issues are just tacked on for the sake of getting public clout or being inclusive.

Fuck that, it’s insulting to everyone to bitch out because you’re a scared pleb. Suffer for your art bitch!

Anyway, it’s kinda fucked up what Sadako does, and that’s mainly what gets this film a 1/5. It just didn’t make sense she would bone her own dad when they're are plenty of perverts around that would get off on her genetic setup.

Then again, in retrospect maybe she felt that was the only person who got her. I don’t give a fuck, its fucking stupid.

In the end the reporter realizes that in order to save himself and pregnant wife (who also saw the tape) that you must show the tape to someone new.

This is Sadako’s way of reproducing.

Whatever.

At least this looks like a movie, the way its filmed, the story setup. It’s all there, its very watchable and enjoyable at times.

I say that because you can't watch a "movie" today and see how "clean" and sharp they try to make the image quality. No attempts at visually immersing you.

But all that gets tossed in a shit biscuit, served straight out of Sadako’s ass so I guess it equals up to modern standards.

FINAL WORD –

MRHELLBOX: I had a massive fucking headache, and drank a 6 pack of Miller Lite, but I got thru godamn it. The fucked up part is that I really want to like this movie. I don’t detest it, just disappointed. Never fuck your dad! – 1/5

DRUNKEN MASTER: Ah look at the little baby bitch thinking he’s hot shit because he can down a “6 pack”. You fucking bitch!

Anyway, best part of the movie is when one of the dudes whose trying to bone Sadako throws her in a well then tosses massive fucking rocks on her. It’s so godamn funny.

Rest of this shit is meh. – 1/5

SCHLONG LONG: I don’t really think she had a dick. Not with natch titties like that. – 1/5

PRINCE PECTORALS: I mean there’s 2 ways to go about keeping this bitch at bay. 1. Be a pussy and show someone else the tape, save your ass. 2. Call in the man, Majima! He’ll square it away! – 1/5

Little Extra Something For You Pleb!