1 WIVES, LIKEWISE, BE SUBMISSIVE TO YOUR OWN HUSBANDS, THAT even IF some DO NOT OBEY the WORD, they, without a word, MAY BE WON BY THE CONDUCT OF THEIR WIVES,
2 WHEN they observe your CHASTE CONDUCT accompanied by fear.
3 DO NOT let your ADORNMENT be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—
4 RATHER let it be the HIDDEN PERSON OF THE HEART, with the INCORRUPTIBLE BEAUTY of a GENTLE and QUIET spirit, which is very PRECIOUS in the SIGHT OF GOD.
5 FOR in this manner, in former times, the HOLY WOMEN who TRUSTED in GOD also ADORNED themselves, being SUBMISSIVE to their own HUSBANDS,
6 AS Sarah OBEYED Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do GOOD and are not afraid with any terror.
7 HUSBANDS, LIKEWISE, DWELL WITH THEM WITH UNDERSTANDING, GIVING HONOUR TO THE WIFE, as to the weaker vessel, and as being HEIRS TOGETHER of the grace of life, that your PRAYERS may not be hindered."
1 Peter 3:1-7 (NKJV)
• The Major function, that is, what is required or expected, of a woman in marriage is that of submission to her husband's leadership.
- God has placed your husband above you, not to be a superior to you, but to be your spiritual covering and protection (Genesis 3:16; Ephesians 5:22-24; 1 Peter 3:1).
- As the wife responded to her husband's leadership, and submitted to it, she enjoys protection and fulfilment in the position God has designed her to be.
- Through this divine order of submission, God is able to reach deep into the life of the woman and provide her with the fulfilment she needed.
• How to submit.
- It is one thing to believe in the Scriptural principle of submission, but another thing entirely to carry it into your daily living and practicing.
(i) Give to your husband the responsibility of final Decisions.
(ii) Share your view with him, but leave the final Decisions to him.
(iii) Give your husband all the respect you considered to be satisfactory (Ephesians 5:33; 1 Peter 3:1,6).
(iv) A man thrives in his role as a spiritual leader when he is assured of the respect of his wife (Ephesians 5:33).
(v) God has given you, as a virtuous woman, the power to turn your man into the man both you and God wanted him to BE. That power is the POWER OF RESPECTFULNESS:
"HOWEVER, let each MAN of you [without exception] LOVE HIS WIFE as [being in a sense] his very own self; AND LET THE WIFE SEE THAT SHE RESPECTS AND REVERENCES HER HUSBAND [that she notices him, regards him, honours him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]" (Ephesians 5:33 Amplified Bible, Classic Edition).
(vi) As a godly woman, be wise in the way you handle money, that is, be prudent in spending. A man would like to have the trust and confidence that his wife is responsible in the way she manages the finances of the home.
INABILITY to handle money wisely is one of the commonest causes of irritation between a husband and his wife.
(vii) If you, as a woman, had deliberately or unconsciously assumed the role of leadership in your home; I would enjoin you to begin at once and reverse the situation—by transferring to your husband the responsibility gradually.
a. He finds it most easy to accept, that is, your husband would not hesitate to assume the role—because it is the biblical order.
b. If you do not know, or could not see, the areas you may have emasculated him and assumed the leadership roles; ask God to show you, and do relinquish the power and allow your husband to take over.
c. Better way to it, is, the gradual transference of the RESPONSIBILITY back to him.
d. The best way to encourage your husband as a leader is to be a good follower.
• Determine to obey God's Word, regardless how you feel about it—whether you feel like doing it or not.
- If a woman found it difficult to submit to her husband, it means the problem is more deeper than that; she really must have found it difficult to submit to God in the first place.
- Submission is the key to a fulfilled marriage life.
• That being said, Apostle Peter admonishes the professed Christian husbands to honour their wives:
"IN THE SAME WAY, YOU HUSBANDS MUST GIVE HONOUR TO YOUR WIVES. TREAT YOUR WIFE WITH UNDERSTANDING AS YOU LIVE TOGETHER. She may be weaker than you are, BUT she is your EQUAL PARTNER in God’s Gift of NEW LIFE. TREAT HER AS YOU SHOULD SO YOUR PRAYERS WILL NOT BE HINDERED" (1 Peter 3:7 NLT).
- If you love your wife, you have to honour her and treat her with understanding (Ephesians 5:33).
- You would need to understand that women are feelers, and they do not communicate straight. When a woman suggested something, it thus means what she wanted or desired.
- She may tell you, it is just a suggestion, but the truth is, that is what she wanted. THEY communicated indirectly, they may not come out straight about what they wanted.
- You would need to understand some things that are peculiar to women generally. Affection is more important to women!
• She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life in Christ.
- You are one in Christ, and she is your sister in the Lord.
- You would have to see your wife as your spiritual sister, a fellow Believer in Christ Jesus. Thus, treat her as you would treat a sister in Christ.
- If you did not treat her as you should, your prayers would not be heard (1 Peter 3:7).
- When you get married, you are bound with covenant, you are no longer two, but one, as husband and wife:
"THEY ARE NOT TWO SEPARATE PEOPLE ANY LONGER. THEY HAVE COME TOGETHER AS ONE PERSON. God has PUT them together to be HUSBAND AND WIFE. So nobody should make them separate’ " (Matthew 19:6 Easy English Bible). - If you had a disagreement and you failed to resolve it, the devil might take an advantage of it, and cause your prayers to be hindered.
- God is not an author of confusion (1 Corinthians 14:33), and if there is any confusion or conflict in your midsts, your prayers might not be answered: "AND IF A HOUSE IS DIVIDED AGAINST ITSELF, THAT HOUSE CANNOT STAND" (Mark 3:25 (NKJV).
• Your marriage is an important factor in fulfilling in your Christian journey in life.
- If you failed in your marriage, it would show in other areas of your life.
- It is when the husband and wife walked in agreement that they can successfully raised their children in the way of God.
- Have you indirectly or directly assumed the leadership role in your home, as a wife who ought to follow?
- You need to reverse it, because if you walked AGAINST God's order and plans, you may regret later.
- No one walks against God's order, plans, principles and patterns; and prosper—receive His favour and full backings.
- God will not work where disorderliness reigns (1 Corinthians 14:33).
- Children are God's heritage (Psalm 127:3); you have to teach them, train them, in the way of the Lord (Deuteronomy 4:10).
- Remember, you will give an account of your stewardship, on the children whom God has given you.
- Husbands should uphold their wives in prayer, whilst the wives should do also for their husbands.
- You can shape the lives of your spouse and children with prayers.
• You will not fail in Jesus' name.
- Whatever is not of God that might be troubling your system, such is rebuked and rooted up, in the mighty name of Jesus Christ.
- The Hold of the devil on your life is completely broken in Jesus' name.
Peace!