A Newcomers Perspective Taming a Chaotic Mind

in honesty •  6 years ago 

There I was, discouraged and overwhelmed. Disappointment in myself flooded my mind for hours and I was ready to say... That's enough! My lifelong trained subconscience tried to sneak it's way in. Then I tapped into my true self and gave myself a break. I am no victim after all.
I don't know if others would percieve me as a writer's potential, but regardless, I will do my best to express myself with honesty and hopefully get my point across effectively. Expect many punctuation errors but decent spelling skills lol
There is an abundance of interaction on the Steemit and Dtube platforms for a newcomer to get lost in. There are methods and formulas that aren't obvious or transparent for the hopes of a good start. The distraction of empty comments, victimized mentalities, anger, lack of creativity, abandonment of engagement or response, to genuine uplifting comments. To bot or not to bot?, is it even a question?... I have no room for that right now. I asked myself, "Well it's allowed, so does that mean it is a positive?" Who knows.
Sign up with discord seeking direction... it's a ghost town. Interact, comment, be positive... run out of RS... what does that even stand for?. It's sounds as though I am being a Negative Nancy, but I am only speaking of my observations and experiences. It isn't meant as a critisism in a nasty sense. It is a vent to say, I choose to hold onto my creativity, create my content with joy and purpose and do unto others as I would wish done to myself. My progress in a materialistic sense will come as I figure it all out. I came here to create, share and enjoy. The extra income is secondary... Nice but it has to be secondary because the since of direction is so vague at times and time consuming that is drains my purpose.
My soul is in my music, my lifestyle, my family, my new endeavors... not to be taken over with tech type methods and time wasted seeking answers I seem to come up short with every time. It isn't a matter of being without ambition, I've been seeking high and low for direction. Am I willing to go on a treasure hunt for information that seems to barely give glimmers of existence. I am sure it is here somewhere. There have been helpful things like Steemworld.org for example. But I will have to take it at a different angle now. Because I am already burnt out on the ugly posts I come across and the lack of common sense direction. It's like it's all a big secret and everyone is watching and waiting to see if you succeed. I will succeed at what my intentions are. That is to be a creative person and enjoy my life and I am going to vlog or blog those things and enjoy the creations of others and let them know that I am enjoying it at a comfortable pace that is genuine and with good heart felt intention and then I will wait for the universe to give back to me in a positive light.
There are positives, their are genuine good people with good intentions with an obvious loving nature and it pours out their content and interactions. That is why I have decided to stick with it. I am only expressing that if I get to caught up in the things that end up repeatedly being pure frustration then I am not growing as the person or the contributor that I want to be.
I am willing to learn and even put in any level of effort that is required... but it's going to have to be at a level that isn't destructive and mind bending. I can handle anything. I am a big girl with lots of life experience and the patience of a Saint for the most part. I believe in second chances. I believe in people. I believe in these platforms and think it is a profound creation or I wouldn't be here. I am simply stating that I am responding with my thinking brain, my instinct and I am avoiding a self-sabotaging mentality by setting to high of expections on myself by expecting to much to soon with to little information.
Those that have interacted even in the smallest way with me, I thank-you. I make no promises, I set no expectations to reach any fish type level from minnows to dolphins to whales. I am going to be myself and try to add something good to the communities and if and when I figure things out more along the way, I am sure it will be obvious. We are an open platform after all.
Thank-you for your time and I hope I am understood.
I wish you ALL Peace and Prosperity

There I was, discouraged and overwhelmed. Disappointment in myself flooded my mind for hours and I was ready to say... That's enough! My lifelong trained subconscience tried to sneak it's way in. Then I tapped into my true self and gave myself a break. I am no victim after all.
I don't know if others would percieve me as a writer with potential, but regardless, I will do my best to express myself with honesty and hopefully get my point across effectively. Expect many punctuation errors but decent spelling skills lol
There is an abundance of interaction on the Steemit and Dtube platforms for a newcomer to get lost in. There are methods and formulas that aren't obvious or transparent for the hopes of a good start. The distraction of empty comments, victimized mentalities, anger, lack of creativity, abandonment of engagement or response, to genuine uplifting comments. To bot or not to bot?, it isn't even a question?. I have no room for that right now. I asked myself, "Well it's allowed, so does that mean it is a positive?" Who knows.
Sign up with discord seeking direction... it's a ghost town. Interact, comment, be positive... run out of RS... what does that even stand for?. It's sounds as though I am being a Negative Nancy, but I am only speaking of my observations and experiences. It isn't meant as a critisism in a nasty sense. It is a vent to say, I choose to hold onto my creativity, create my content with joy and purpose and do unto others as I would wish done to myself. My progress in a materialistic sense will come as I figure it all out. I came here to create, share and enjoy. The extra income is secondary... Nice but it has to be secondary because the since of direction is so vague at times and time consuming that is drains my purpose.
My soul is in my music, my lifestyle, my family, my new endeavors... not to be taken over with tech type methods and time wasted seeking answers I seem to come up short with every time. It isn't a matter of being without ambition, I've been seeking high and low for direction. Am I willing to go on a treasure hunt for information that seems to barely give glimmers of existence. I am sure it is here somewhere. There have been helpful things like Steemworld.org for example. But I will have to take it at a different angle now. Because I am already burnt out on the ugly posts I come across and the lack of common sense direction. It's like it's all a big secret and everyone is watching and waiting to see if you succeed. I will succeed at what my intentions are. That is to be a creative person and enjoy my life and I am going to vlog or blog those things and enjoy the creations of others and let them know that I am enjoying it at a comfortable pace that is genuine and with good heart felt intention and then I will wait for the universe to give back to me in a positive light.
There are positives, their are genuine good people with good intentions with an obvious loving nature and it pours out their content and interactions. That is why I have decided to stick with it. I am only expressing that if I get to caught up in the things that end up repeatedly being pure frustration then I am not growing as the person or the contributor that I want to be.
I am willing to learn and even put in any level of effort that is required... but it's going to have to be at a level that isn't destructive and mind bending. I can handle anything. I am a big girl with lots of life experience and the patience of a Saint for the most part. I believe in second chances. I believe in people. I believe in these platforms and think it is a profound creation or I wouldn't be here. I am simply stating that I am responding with my thinking brain, my instinct and I am avoiding a self-sabotaging mentality by setting to high of expections on myself by expecting to much to soon with to little information.
Those that have interacted even in the smallest way with me, I thank-you. I make no promises, I set no expectations to reach any fish type level from minnows to dolphins to whales. I am going to be myself and try to add something good to the communities and if and when I figure things out more along the way, I am sure it will be obvious. We are an open platform after all.
Thank-you for your time and I hope I am understood.
I wish you ALL Peace and Prosperity

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I hear you, it can be frustrating and confusing at times!! So glad you are just doing what you love and are keeping at it. Your content is amazing!