The Mortician | David

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David was one of the worst stories I have to tell. He came in with a–well deserved–bullet hole through his head. Trust me, I don’t say that lightly. He was a horrible monster.

Now, I am fully aware that there are people in this world that have–let’s call them afflictions–that they have no real control over. David was not one of those people. This man, if you can even call him that, absolutely loved every second of what he did. Every. Single.
Sick and twisted. Second. Of. It.

David was a serial killer, to put it bluntly. A serial killer that discriminated against absolutely no one when it came to ending their lives. I don’t think he left a single box unchecked on his murder list. He got paid for every one of them, too.

When I found David, he was laughing maniacally, looking down at his own body.

“He actually did it,” he bellowed, head tilted back in loud, hyena like laughter. “The crazy bastard actually did it!”

I paused. I knew who he was and I was hoping desperately that his spirit wouldn’t show up. I’d read about him in many articles over the years. Somehow, he kept getting away with everything. His lawyer had to be about the wealthiest person in the world by now. There’s no way he would have charged less than a million dollars per case. Hell, I’d charge him that much just to be in the same room. Being within eyesight of that man gave me horrible, unshakable sense of unease. And his cases were far, far from run of the mill.

In all honesty, I didn’t know what I was going to do if he showed up in ghost form. I thought about hiding, pretending he wasn’t there. I mean, what difference would it make to him? He didn’t know I could see ghosts! Then I started to wonder if he would try to hurt me --or anyone else, for that matter. Can ghosts hurt people? I was always told they couldn’t but that didn’t mean anything. This was still in my very early days of seeing ghosts, too, so I had no idea how anything worked. What if this crazed lunatic decided to carry on his legacy from beyond his own damn grave? I’d really worked myself up into a tizzy aout the whole thing. So, naturally, what I saw him, I panicked.

It as late at night when I heard him. Thankfully, I was the only one there or the entire department would have thought I was insane. I could barely keep myself from screaming, I was so scared. I had the scenario made up in my head that would not budge. David would come up behind me. I’d have no idea he was there, you know cause he’s a damn ghost! He’d wrap my lab coat, twisted into a thick rope, around my neck and strangle me to death. I would be his last victim and no one would ever be able to solve my murder. In the back of my mind, I thought that might be why there were so many unsolved murders. I probably watched too much Unsolved Mysteries as a kid. Regardless, the idea was in there and there was no getting it out of there. I’m still paranoid to this day that he’ll just show back up and kill me.
Anyway, back to David. I was frozen in the doorway, but not completely frozen because I was shaking like a leaf. None of my limbs would do what I wanted them to do. I had lost all control in my panic.

“He actually did it!” David was bellowing. He didn’t sound angry. Actually, he sounded rather impressed, almost pleasantly surprised. The crazy man started to laugh, still not angrily. It was like he was happy to be dead, happy to have that bullet perfectly lodged into the center of his forehead. “The crazy bastard actually did it!”

My skin was crawling from his laughter. His laugh, even though joyous, was sinister and down right horrifying.

David must have sensed my presence or heard me shaking. Yes, it really was that bad. David’s head shot up, laughter gone for the moment. When his eyes met mine, the most wicked smile I’d ever seen etched its way across his face. There was an evil gleam in his eyes as he registered the obvious fear on my face. He could probably smell it from where he stood.

“Well, hello,” he said. “Who are you?” I couldn’t respond, my vocal chords frozen. “I know you can see me. It’s written right in your face, Buddy. I’m willing to bet you can hear me, too.”

David started walking towards me. He was still taking, but I couldn’t hear a word he said. I was too focused on what was going to happen when he reached me. Trying as hard as I could, my muscles still wouldn’t move an inch.

Suddenly, his nose was centimeters from mine. His cold, dead eyes bore into mine. The color such a dark brown that they could have been considered black. Complete silence took over the room as he stared.

“Boo,” he said, barely above a whisper.

I screamed like a child, jumping out of my skin.

He howled with laughter. But, I mean, who wouldn’t have? No self-respecting, grown adult should have been frightened by that, but I sure was. My face turned bright red from the sheer embarrassment. I was happy to find, though, I could finally move again.

“Relax,” David said. “I’m not going to hurt you. Not sure I even can.”

“What? W-why?” I stuttered out.

“Are you seriously asking why I’m not going to hurt you?”

I shrugged.

“Don’t see the point. Nothing to gain if I’m already dead, which I quite obviously am.”

“I suppose that makes sense.”

“I killed a lot of people in my life, kid. There wasn’t a single one I didn’t benefit from in one way or another. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed it, but not worth the risk if I didn’t get something out of it. Especially with all the damn technology they have these days. You look at the wrong spot on a wall and you’ll find yourself behind bars quicker than you can even commit the crime. You know what I mean?”

I stared at him blankly again, confused by his nonchalant gabbing. I figured that a known killer would be more reserved, but he was actually personable. A serial killer, personable. It shook me even more.

“Of course you do. Look at you. Anyway, didn’t used to be so hard to get away with it. I worked for a lot less back when I first started. Doesn’t hold the same thrill anymore, though.”

I was still staring. Processing that this vicious killer was pretty much just over killing was far too difficult to get passed.

“I remember my first kill like it was yesterday.” He had seemed to have lost interest in me. He strolled around the room casually, taking in his surroundings. “I was always a bad kid. My family and home life was a fucking nightmare. I did anything I could to try to get attention. I was about 6 when my little brother and I stole an entire briefcase filled with cigarettes from the gas station down the street. My dad was so proud. He had smokes for weeks and made a killing selling over half of them.”

I cocked my head to the side, fear of that man temporarily forgotten. I guess his charisma was quite the force to be reckoned with. “A briefcase of cigarettes?”

David laughed, “Yeah, had to disguise them somehow. Seemed like a no brainer. Kids are always pretending to be businessmen with their little briefcases. Anyway, they made them much harder to get to after that, the cigarettes.”

I laughed, the mental image far too amusing.

“That was the start of my life of crime. Stealing for my dad was beneficial. I got the attention I was craving and he was proud. Until I got caught. Then I was a piece of shit. Worthless.” David’s tone turned very dark.

“I got sent to juvie at 15 for grand theft auto. I was trying to impress some girl.” He smiled at the memory. “I met some kids that knew far more about the criminal world than I did in there. They knew how to really profit. I took advantage and learned as much as I could while I was stuck in there. Made some good connections. I was never going to be able to lead a normal life. I had already been branded. I didn’t mind, though. Seemed to me, back then, that I would sure beat the hell out of a 9 to 5 job.”

He was still pacing the room, eyeing various tools laying on my tables. I wasn’t sure what had prompted this monologue, but I was intrigued so I let him continue.

“I only had a week until release when another kid made me an offer. Some cash to take care of this dude that had moved in on his woman while he was in juvie. He still had months to go but wanted the problem taken care of now. I agreed, of course. To be clear, he didn’t want the kid killed at first, but roughing him up, it just wasn’t enough. He was persistent. Obviously, he didn’t get the —uh— severity of the situation. I put him in the hospital twice! Twice, man. And he still didn’t get it. Still chased this damn girl. She really must have been worth it. She certainly was to my boy in juvie. He was livid. It was time. So I hid in the backseat of his car and waited. He pulled into his driveway late at night. I waited until the car was in park. Then I popped up and slit his throat. He never had a chance to even scream. God, the blood went everywhere.” David’s blood curdling laugh rang through the morgue.

I flinched, cowering back away from him again. I had almost forgotten where his story was going. Forgotten he was a vicious killer.

“I should have been caught for that one. It was sloppy. There was evidence everywhere, but nobody saw me. Nothing could be proven or traced to anyone. I didn’t even get taken in for questioning.”

“How could you have gotten away with that?” I was stunned.

“They had nothing like what we have today. Even so, I guess, he never mentioned me roughing him up to anyone. No one in the family knew my name to give it to the cops. I got lucky with that one. And I got smarter after it, too. They knew I was serious from then on. I learned a lot from a whole lotta people. If I hadn’t, I would have served a lot more time than I did. So many crimes I never got caught for.” He laughed again.

“One of my many secrets, since I know you’ll never use it, get creative. The crazier the crime, the harder it is for them to figure out and the harder it is for them to pin it on you or anyone else for that matter. There are so many crimes they tried to charge me with that fell through because they had no way of actually proving I had anything to do with it at all.

“You know damn well that I did most of them. I can’t say all, surprisingly. There are have been a few times when the cops just couldn’t figure out who actually did it so they tried to find some way to link it to me or my boys.”

“But, what exactly do you mean creative? Slicing someone’s throat open in their car isn’t exactly creative. That’s something you’d see in some cheesy murder mystery movie.”

“Hey, I said that I got creative, not that I started out creative.” His voice had turned slightly angry and I sank back, becoming quiet once again. Note to self, don’t criticize a known murderer. That should have been pretty obvious.

“I once used a record to slit a guy’s throat. Yes, a vinyl record. Ozzy Osbourne, to be exact.”

I stared at him in disbelief.

“That’s the kind of creative I’m talking about. No one goes looking for who bought a vinyl record lately. They go looking for who’s bought rope and duct tape at Home Depot at 3 am. I made a habit of using what was around. If that didn’t work, I planned well in advance. If I was out of state, I grabbed a couple things I thought might come in handy later. Then I’d hold on to them for months, even years. By that point, there was no record of me buying it. They could never use any of that against me, making it much harder to convict me.”

“I did some really messed up things, kid. I’ve seen some things that were even worse. You know that guy that was sentenced to life not too long ago for making a man eat his girlfriend alive?”

I winced and nodded. I remembered all too well. Her body had been sent here. I still had nightmares about the bite marks and chunks missing from her arms.

“I was there for that. At least the beginning of it. I tried to stop him, but he wouldn’t listen. It was far too risky. I knew he was going to get busted so I left before I got roped into it. They did try to call me in for questioning, but there was nothing on me. I told them it wasn’t my style, anyway. I might be okay with a lot of things, but cannibalism isn’t one of them.

“He was so sloppy about it, too. The location was horrible. It was in town! He wanted a man to eat his woman alive in a warehouse in town! Idiot. She was awake for the whole thing, screaming her head off. It’s no surprise that people heard her. He put a bullet in her head, too. He needed her to shut up, but you could hear that shot from across town.

“Speaking of a shot to the head, I was teaching the kid that shot me. He learned a though, but very valuable lesson.” David looked me dead in the eyes. “Never leave any loose ends. Even if you know you can trust them. That other guy, he left all kinds of loose ends, and that’s a huge part of why he got caught. I didn’t get caught.”

I gulped. I knew I had to ask. “H-how many people have you killed?” I stuttered, afraid of his answer.

“Personally, 172.”

My eyes widened. “And not personally?”

“390.” A wicked smile took over his face.

He started to fade out as he released one last terrifying laugh. It echoed around the morgue long after his image was gone.

I haven't completely decided how I'm going to publish this anthology or what order it will be in. For right now, I'm going to post a few chapters on here. Once I've finished, I think I will publish it on Amazon, though. I'd very much appreciate any and all feedback!!

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!