STEEMIT TIPS: F4F, upsteem ur revote, post randm chanellls, tag @everyone and all whlz!!! Free Lambos guarented! H2G. Wrtng epc 5hr pst for 28 fllowers.

Hey!!! Want F4F? Great. UV4UV? yeah? awesoem. We Lambo by thrsday. Reivew my psts? Dont hve to vote. Jst sya wht u think. ok? Much awesome. Lion pics + donkey ablls. perfct 4 u. Ok, have to go. UV me ok! I upsteem ur comment vote.

This is the best way to act on the platform...

Well, let me finish that thought. This is the best way to act on the platform if your goal is to make it as hard for yourself to grow as possible.

Epix rnts!

First off. F4F is a bad plan. Welcome to dead follower land. It's one thing if you're both in a channel designed for a social cause. "Hey, you wanna make sure dolphins get boners? Me too!!! F4F?" (that's a Tosh reference). Ok, that's like the one place where it's acceptable. Where it isn't acceptable is everywhere else. What kind of fair weather asshole follower do you think this person is gonna be? They aren't really intersted in your growth. They don't care about you or your content. They are thinking numbers and follower count. So, yeah, you got a follower, but when you go off to write that epx pst for 5 hours for your 29 followers you get 2 views. Those were the two that really cared about dolphin boners!

Don't be that guy!

So, don't walk into a general chat and drop F4F. Anyone that's been here for a week knows it's a dumb proposition and it doesn't really help anyone. You're just waving your hand in a crowd and saying "Hey, I'm an asshat lookin' for suckers! Are you one?"

Fre Lambos

Steemit takes work. You don't get there in a week. You can't start with nothing and no followers and no group from facebook or youtube and hope to come here and be a whale in a week. I know a few people that catch some whale votes on their first couple posts, but that's about it. Most people have to spend weeks trying to catch a post with 15 views and $2 in dank amps (post rewards). So, the people that are telling you how awesome it'll be if you do the things they tell you to do and it'll be easy quick cash... they're scamming you. Don't do it. You'll regret it and feel dirty and used the next day.

Post promotion

Whether you're working with @acidyo in steemit chat (when it's up... ZING) or if you're in one of the Discord rooms you're going to run into channels. Now I know you want to promote your post, but nothing makes you look like a bigger asshole then running into general chat and saying hey "upvote my dolphin boner post" as your very first interaction. It's even worse when you're doing that as a DM to dolphins and whales. If you're spamming you probably don't know anything about them. You probably don't give a shit about them and their wants. You probably just want the votes, influence, and interaction with followers that they took months to create and you want the benefit from after a whopping 3 days on the platform.

Look, if you find a channel that's titled "dolphin erection enthusiasts" by all means post there, but the general channel or something like a music channel isn't an appropriate place for the post. It doesn't make you awesome or cool for posting there. It makes you look like an extremely disrespectful asswipe that shouldn't be upvoted, shouldn't be followed, and shouldn't get free lambos.

Fastest way to catch shit on the platform

This is probably too strong of advice for the trolls in this place, but if you want to make an entire group mad and ruin any chance of getting support from like 100 people at a time drop the @everyone or @here command. You're likely to catch flags for days. Thought it was hard getting anywhere on the platform with a 25 rep? Try it with a -7 and a couple of pissed off whale accounts flagging everything you make. It's just dumb.

You got your shitty follower group and posts in the wrong spot. Now what?

Obviously you should spend 6 hours writing your masterpiece. You should go into a cave with a typewriter and write your masterpiece. No one has ever had that same thought about SBD price increase/decrease/problem/solution/value before. You are a unique snowflake and you should put it everywhere on the platform you can think of. Then you should go post it on every facebook page and reddit/subreddit in the world. @everyone will love you. Free lambos right around the corner. Then you find out that only 4 people viewed it, and 2 clicked on the wrong post. You're sitting there all pissed off that this place sucks and no one votes your content.

what should you actually do?

Number 1 thing you can do is make friends. Friends that share similar intersts will read your posts, suggest fixes, offer resteems, and make introductions for you. They will help you find tools and communities to support you. They'll make this journey easier. The best way to do this on the blockchain when you're starting is to comment on posts you like from authors with similar interests. "Cool post" won't get you far, but a gif/meme or a thoughtful comment can easily catch a big vote or get a follower who actually appreciates you. When you get a couple hundred followers then it's time to switch gears to writing more and with all those friends you'll actually get some traction.

What if you wanna do something offline? Discord, facebook, and some other places have social groups. I manage the Minnow Support Project and know that the number one way that Minnows stop being minnows is to make friends. Turns out the fastest way isn't by shoving your posts at them, but instead to just say "hi" ask questions, and at least fake genuine interest for a while.

When talking to whales

Please don't link a post and say "hey review this." I know what you're doing. It isn't cool. You're not tricky. You're not fooling me. In fact it makes me think you think I'm an asshole that can't figure out what you're doing. You don't know anything about me. If you did you'd know I don't really care about Dolphin erections. So, when you push that post at me I'm inclined to think you're a dick that should be avoided. If you realize that I'm all about helping minnows it's better to start with a post like "Hey @aggroed, I saw that you run a big Discord group all about supporting minnows. I have a great idea that I think will help them? Have you ever thought about hosting a dolphin erection party? It's a great social cause and I think it could help minnows!!!"

See, that's at least interesting... I mean what the fuck is a dolphin erection party? I've never heard of that. I'm at least willing to have 1 more sentence of conversation about it, but if all you do is non-consensually shove your post in my DM feed I'm gonna get cranky. I don't know you, I don't know your content, I don't know why I should care, and I don't know how you're helping me do the shit I think is important. Now I have to look at your message so it'll go away and then I have to figure out if it's worth flagging you into oblivion.

See this place is as much about you as it is your content

People supporting posts are often supporting authors. The content might catch them the first time, but after that it's often about the friendship and wanting to support your buddy. I don't want a stranger coming up to me and hitting me with a 15 SBD contest for shit I don't care about asking me to review it and resteem it especialy when it's already 4 days old with 3 views. But come to me in Discord, talk about what you're passionate about, and tell me how you think you could help other Minnows an you're gonna get my attention. It's not that I hate contests. It's that I don't like spending my precious time only on self centered people.

Catching flak

The last time I did a snarky post like this I caught a little flak from folks that thought I've changed and become shitty. I spend about 6 hrs a day helping minnows grow. There's about 1400 of them in the MSP channel. What I'm doing is showing you what works and what doesn't. If you think I'm wrong go right ahead and actually do the shitty things in the title. Let me know how it goes. I'm sure you'll get fre Lambo by snday.