Where does anger come from in a person ?
This question is of interest to many...
Why are there so many evil people in the world?!
Have you asked yourself the question: why do mad people and the reason of their anger and what could happen in the heat of negative emotions...
Most often people are angry at their boss,wife,children or parents,without even thinking about the cause of anger.
What is the cause of anger?
Now I will try to explain clearly!
Unfulfilled expectations
Anger can be normal in some circumstances. For example, if I have some expectation that is not met, then I may get angry. If the owner of the service station tells me that my car will be ready at noon, and I will come at noon, and the work has not even started — I will be angry. That's normal. Therefore, the first reason for the feeling of anger is the failure of expectations. Then you have to ask questions like: Are my expectations realistic? Do I really know what I want?
Sense of injustice
The second reason for feeling angry is when we feel that there is injustice, we feel hurt. If someone stands in front of the line, I will get angry and it will be okay because I realize it is unfair. But sometimes in these situations, there are ambiguities: it is possible that this person is already the second time that he should just give a piece of paper the doctor, etc. Then there is no justice here. Therefore, sometimes, before you cry about injustice, you need to see if it is real.
Unsatisfactory situation
The third reason for the feeling of anger is when people meet in very unsatisfactory situations: I was paid an insufficient amount, my spouse drinks. Here we have 3 exits:
- change the situation;
- to continue living in this position – ;
– to leave, to leave.
Sometimes people are unable to find a solution to these three options. For example, if I am not satisfied with my salary, I can ask for an increase. If I'm getting it, it's all right. If not, therefore, I remain in an unsatisfactory position.
Then you have to ask yourself whether we can live with it, you need to tell yourself: even if I am not satisfied with my salary, but I love my job and colleagues, I do not have too important tasks, and the work is 5 minutes from home. If in the end we come to the conclusion that our work satisfies us, it is worth to stop fighting against everything, especially if there are no special reasons. If the situation is the opposite: wages are not enough to cover all costs, working conditions are unpleasant, it is worth thinking about changing jobs.
Do you have some tricks to control your anger?
Wait and evaluate
At first, it is tedious to wait and evaluate. Including rational perception, the easiest way to assess what is happening. When what is a problem is assessed and found, it is easier to Express it then. If it is expressed by anger, which conveys a certain message. The person who receives this message can then take defense or counter attack tactics. Therefore, it is better to find a good moment to Express our discontent when the anger has already passed. Don't forget the anger. Indeed, it is necessary to discuss the problem, to give each other an opportunity to speak calmly and clearly.
Analyze and understand our perceptions
If you are often in a state of anger, perhaps something is going wrong. For example, if I'm angry more than another person, then I don't see the world the way another person sees it. However, we live in the same world. We all meet someone once who's angry or doesn't trust anyone. However, we live in the same world as these disgruntled.
Therefore, we are talking about expectations. If any of us don't welcome it because they're angry with us or just scattered? When we see someone, we assume something. People who are angry often assume even worse. Therefore, we must think about the reasons that provoked our anger, asking ourselves what our feelings were about this situation, and what our expectations were. The goal is not to eradicate anger, but to change the factors that led to that anger.
How to confront each other in anger?
Yield or not?
Sometimes you have to resist the wrath of others. Someone attacks us verbally and tries to answer correctly, but still he reacts with anger. In such a situation, first of all, you have to ask yourself whether it is really important to respond to this anger or you can skip it.
Rate your own tone
Second, we need to ask ourselves about our way of expressing our thoughts. Am I really speaking in a clear and calm tone? Or did I get angry first and then speak out? The fact is that when people are angry, it often provokes their reaction to a counter-attack. Therefore, people in anger are encouraged to wait for a good moment to discuss what they are unhappy or dissatisfied with.
Not always to blame
Despite all these efforts, we cannot control the reactions of others. Some people always defend, no matter what tone and topic of conversation; it is very difficult to manage. First of all, we need to understand that their reaction is the problem, and that, therefore, we should not blame ourselves. We must also accept the disappointing fact that we can never change the world. What is done in relation to the reaction is not reasonable. In this situation, it is better to offer to resume the conversation later, when the passions have settled. And then you can talk in a calm tone.
Friends!
And now think about it and ask yourself why I'm angry?
Why let anger affect my mind and soul?
I need it ?
Think about it !!!
I'd like to tell my little story about how I learned to fight anger.
I was fifteen years old...
I was finishing school and at that moment my stepfather came to our house.
Mom's husband...
I disliked him at once,he was strange and there was nothing human in his eyes.
I was afraid of him even when I slept.
He often drank and shouted at his mother...
I was angry,very angry because I couldn't protect her.
Later, I graduated from high school and went to another city to go to University and get a higher education.
His mother was alone with him...
Throughout the learning process, I felt for her with all my heart.
She was the only person I had left that was native to me...
One cold, spring day the stepfather got drunk and began to beat mother with a knife...
I was sitting outside and playing with my dog, my mother ran out into the yard and told me what had happened.
In my head all swam, filled with anger soul, I went into the house and with all the dope hit stepfather in the face.
After the fight.
In his hand was a knife,but I was no longer afraid,three meters from me in the ground sticking pipe, I took it in his hand and with all the dope hit him on the body...
Stepfather fell.
There was fear in his eyes,I lost control and started beating him.
Beat so hard that he no longer had to hurt his mother.
I believe that this was anger in good!
But at my core I am a man of good soul!
Remember: - that people are evil because the weak...
Good to be much harder,but kindness is appreciated more!
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