HAhahah in a sense that was click bait but before you kiss your teeth or flag me , there is some truth to this story.
In the picture above my wife #1 has her hand over her mouth. My second wife is the one with the cap on. Everyone calls her my second wife. Why? Because on weekends there is a 90% chance that she is at my house along with her daughter and there is a 75% chance that they will stay the night. We often go places together as well like one big family.
The interesting thing about her being like a part of the family, well thinking about it now, she is becoming like a sister to my wife who recently lost her sister. The same vibrant personality and funny dialogue. of course she could never replace Yuka, but I think it is good when she is around, my wife has a sister figure close by to relate to. She lives less than 3 minutes away.
Aya, my second wife is a single mother. She divorced her husband just recently because ... he doesn't want to work. So in a sense I think my home is comfort zone to her where she can be free to be, as she is now living with her parents.
As for me, having my second wife around, especially her daughter, reminds me of my daughter who is just about the same age. You see, I have a daughter who I haven't seen in years. Even though she lives about an hour away. I pay child support monthly, a pretty decent amount too. But there is no arrangement for me to see my daughter. Her mother won't have it. I use to see her twice a month and it was always uncomfortable with her mom around, but she would have it no other way. Once my twins were born about 3 years ago, my daughter's mom just basically stopped me from seeing her.....Unless I buy the expensive toys she requests. I stopped doing that. It makes no sense.
My Daughter Airi ( IRIE )
I try to suppress these feelings like everything is OK, but just writing this now, tears are building up. I made a song for my daughter I have yet to record because it is just a bit emotional, so I have been avoiding it, but I shall execute soon.
Never in a million years did I think I would be that guy with a "baby mama", I use to look on people in that situation and wonder how could they make that happen? But hey life happens. Marriage and the idea of one lover for the rest of your life was a script given to us, society and culture make us see ourselves as inferior if we don't live up to certain standards, well today I say Fuck those standards. Live your life the way you see fit.
Have a good day ya'll
Oh. I am sorry to hear about that. It must be really harsh. 😑
That's very weird. I feel bad for you but specially for the little girl, who has a father she can't see because of your relationship with her mom. I hope she's able to cope with that situation... These things always leave scars behind. 😶
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Indeed they do leave scars. I am thinking of ways to make it possible to see her , it seems like the only what now is buying the expensive gifts and meeting up to give them to her which to me seems strange but I don’t know what else to do.
There are many men in this country in a similar situations , it is quite prevalent here. Many have tried to change this but have gotten nowhere.
I shall figure it out. More action and less thinking.
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Wow thanks for the courage of sharing that!! Props to you 💪🏻💪🏻
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Thanks, I think it’s an important part of being a content creator, being vulnerable.
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You are seeing the extended family in a positive light / good vibes. Man I can just imagine doing all the good you can and people still trying to manipulate you. Kids grow up- they will see the 💡 Steem on in doing good !
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Respect Bredda. Mi a tell you! Haffi gwaan hold it and steem on Fi realz.
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That is awesome Bro 👍👍 and I'm with you on the fuck standards 💯 I appreciate and admire your courage to open your heart and share with us 💜 You are an Absoulutely BeautyFull Being and I hope that sooner rather than later that the tide will turn and provide you time to bond with you daughter as you truly deserve to 💞 Sending all my reiki love in support 🙏
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Aaaaw thank you 🦋 heartfelt comment. I Truly appreciate it.
I shall make more diplomatic and strategic efforts and use the force 😬
Thank you for witnessing me. Opening up the heart & sharing is a wonderful thing.
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To have good friends who feel like siblings to you is one of the best things in the world. Currently, I have no person like that in my life but I am not alone with that, I know it.
The story about your daughter is really sad for you but most important for her. Your ex wife is extremely egoistic to decide that you both are not allowed to see anymore.. I don't want to get more in detail because I don't want to let you feel sader than already.
I know this blockage when a song is too emotional to get recorded. But thats part of the work brother. You should act soon even though it is really hard to finish the song.
Your ending message is a really good one. Marriage is a lie for a lot of generations before us. We should break through that and expect the "normal" life. People can change, Love can change, Desires can change - marriage is a prison.
Thanks for sharing this post brother. Keep expressing and steeming!
Peace!
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Indeed it is a goo feeling to have these tyke of friends around. I shall cherish them. I’m sure you are creating these friendships now.
Yeah when I think about it really does get me down and pondering.
For real I need to voice it and just put it out. I think I may use a cartoonized version of that pic as the cover art.
Yup , the grandest script handed down throughout time, the movie has changed but we are still reading the same script.
Thanks for you super comment bro, appreciate it✨
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Sorry about that situation. I cannot lie that I understand how that feels. I guess it's just life. Never would I have imagined that I will live in an uncompleted building with my family or lose my father but things happen and we just have to find the strength to carry on.
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Respect bro, you never know the cards life is gonna play, might as well enjoy today.
Things you have been through so young has rep impact but no doubt it has made you wiser and stronger for sure.
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What you and your daughter are victims of is called parental alienation. Regardless of what bad blood may be between you and your ex wife, she has no moral right to deprive your daughter of time with her father or you of your time with her. Parental alienation should be criminalized.
But as long as it isn't, men will have to question whether it really makes sense to have children in the first place. Paternity as an institution exists for the purpose of ensuring children have access to the care and protection of their fathers. What's in paternity for men is the opportunity to know and raise their own children. If there are only costs involved, the whole institution is meaningless.
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100% agree,
In any other country this would not be acceptable, but here in Japan that is the cards the father is dealt. In fact most of them seem to prefer it that way. Culture is a hell of a thing.
Men really need to be careful, especially when you are in a country where you have less rights than the citizens.
Meaningless indeed, there is one side that wants to buy all those toys but then it’s not a good example for my daughter, seeing men as someone to buy her shit. As unfair as it is I won’t stop the support though or threaten to,I won’t use negative force.
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It seems like the bond between Japanese fathers and their children is weak. Wouldn't surprise me because the fathers spend all their time at work.
Japan has a relatively high GDP but based on what I've learned about life there, life quality in Japan is quite low.
It sounds as if a lot of Japanese women see their men as providers only. It doesn't surprise me in the slightest that Japan has the highest proportion of men in the world who refuse to participate in the whole marriage and family thing or even relationships in general. Men as beasts of burden to a bunch of materialistic cunts is not exactly very appealing.
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Indeed it is, my friend who recently got divorced from his wife doesn't bother to go to see the children even though they grew up around him, they even live in the same town. He has no interest in seeing them.
My wife's nephew, his mom died, the father who was divorced from the mom hasn't even come to see him, 4 years later. It is a different culture.
You are right, most men here would rather not get married, and if they do they would rather be at work. The entire system has screwed the concept of marriage here and in other parts of the world. But here I really think the concept of work and family balance is extremely fukt. There is no time for love.
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The Japanese seem to have a culture that is very fukt in other ways, too. I would never want to live in Japan. Housing is extremely expensive and in spite of the high GDP per capita it's not better even compared to regions like Eastern Europe. I was shocked to learn that in the Tokyo area there are countless flats that don't have heating at all. The typical Russian family lives in a one bedroom apartment. There is a living room, a separate kitchen, one bedroom and bathroom in the apartment. There is central heating and warm running water. The tap water in Russia is not safe to drink but there is hot water except for three weeks in July. In Japan, tap water is safe to drink but often needs to be heated separately in each home. There is a large number of very small rental units in the big cities of Japan.
Western Europe and North America are at a completely different level compared to Japan when it comes to housing. Those are the perks of a much, much lower population density and a much lower cost of energy.
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Sometimes life happens and the circumstances may definitely become what we didn't envisage really, I once had three girlfriends and ended up having none because they all discovered and thought I was a Casanova meanwhile I wasn't, Shit just happened to me really.
I think having two ladies in your life is really something but not allowing you not to see your daughter is pathetic. I'm sorry you're going through this.
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No. You made choices. You're nobody's puppet.
Sounds like trouble brewing.
The daughter should be kept out of whatever's between the parents. @dmilliz is her father and nobody else.
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Indeed bro , sometimes life just happens, we really gotta plot out and trod carefully, but when we are young we aren’t thinking so wisely lol, Mr Casanova, I can imagine how that can happen, at times it is going with the flow , at times it feels natural and then the reality of society hits.
Thanks bro, I gotta keep it moving ✨
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Such a beautiful story. Man, your stories are really on another level man. The clickbait doesn't do it justice 😅.
Sad to hear about the reason they broke up. There are often so many issues in life that we don't have instant solutions for. Glad that you are there for each other to bring joy in each others life.
#lobi
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Thanks man!
Sometimes the click baiting just feels good though lol.
Yeah it’s good to have liaise company around now and then. Gives freeway to leave the house and go something while they chat and watch the kids too lol.
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It's amazing how you can still hold things together and stand strong. I hope you let out your stress, sadness and anger through exercise or something healthy. You're a great guy for acknowledging shit happens 'cuz it does. No point to mope around. We have to get over and move on. (Easier said than done, I know). I do understand how hard it is to have a foreign spouse because mine is, too. Language and culture problems arise and things get twisted. / You really ought to fight for your right to see your daughter if you want to be a part of her life later on. I guess if you keep buying her gifts, she'll know you care and still love her. The mom could be saying bad things and distort the truth. Until your baby is 18, she'll be under the mom's wing. 18 isn't that far away. Remember. You get what you give even if it doesn't seem in the natural. / Yes...the title of this post was a little bit of bait, but I'm glad I stopped by. Looking forward to your song, as well~. I feel you have a good aurora.
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Thanks for you comment. Think about it can be a real pressure. I guess that is why I stay busy. Walking in nature is it for me, really gets me in a good vibration.
You make some very good points, especially being so young, those toys do mean a lot , and I really need to stand up for my right ( though in this land I feel u have very little )
Oh yes no doubt the mom is feeding her bad scripts about me.
“You get what you put in” yes so true, i shall put more effort into creating a relationship with my daughter, it’s rough with the mom blocking me but there must be a way around that mountain.
Hahaga you know my intention was just to tell about my wife’s friend and how she is like second wife but then everything just poured out. Thank you for witnessing me. I truly appreciate it. I will get on that song :)
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It is hard to say what is wise. I am a kid out of mixed parents. My mother did the same, later I went to my dad and discovered he was a selfish bastard, abusing women.
I am not saying you are only that each story has more as one site and your kid will find out about it herself.
Child support is not a reason to see your kid, you pay for 50% of the costs which a parent should do.
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Hi, good to hear from some who has lived though it on the other side of ,
Well I am not perfect but abusive, not at all.
I agree child support is not a reason to see your child, especially in this country. But I do feel it is the reasonable thing to do. I have never threatened to stop child support in order to see my child, even though the mom is well off compared to me, gets money from the government and child allowance, even though it is a pressure on my family, I just keep it moving ,
Sorry to hear after all those years you found out your dad was a bastard, but at the same time, what caused him to be like that, we will never know.
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This is so wholesome that I had to punch a wall to keep my tears back.
It is really nice to know that you have accepted her as part of your family.
Not many could be as noble
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I can imagine you punching the wall for real LOl.
Thanks man, good people around is a blessing, annoying at times but a blessing LOL
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Thanks for sharing this part of your life @dmilliz, life is never fair it just is, and the only thing we can do is make it the best we can under our own circumstances.
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Wise words man, very wise words, that I shall do, make the best and don't stress.
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👍🙂
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Well brother.... Your life isn't boring, that's for sure... :)
Managing two wives has to be a though job... But, if you like it, it is probably not hard :)
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LOL well not really two wives but just what it feels like at times. Literally having two woves would not be a pretty thing, I don't know how cultures do it. But that is the thing right there Culture Thanks for the comment.
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