Modern Chess Euphemisms

in humor •  5 years ago 

With all of the dramatic events happening on Steemit, it is easy to forget what matters in life.

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Chess has been around since the Old Testament, and it has driven many people just as mad.

The game has changed since then and so has the way we talk about it. Lingo moves with each generation. Sometimes us old farts do not keep up with the language these young kids use.

Well, I've been studying these punks for months and have compiled a must know list. I must warn you. Their tone may seem coarse for the uninitiated.

"Black or cracker?" This means, "would you like to play the black pieces or the white pieces?"

"Priveledge." This means the white pieces move first.

"You stupid asshole!" This means you've played the Scandinavian Defense.

"Stop looking at my mom." This means, "nice opening old man. I can't seem to work out a proper defense."

"This is bullshit!" This means, "I'm beat and I wish I hadn't cackled like a Clinton before I blundered away all my advantages."

"I hope you choke to death on your own vomit!" This means you've pinned his queen.

"Why the hell are you still looking at my mom?!" This means "I've lost but I'm going to sit here and not surrender just in case a meteor crashes down on Europe and prevents a proper ending."

"Tell your mom I say hi." Actually, this is mine. It means "good game, young fellow. Perhaps we play again sometime."

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