Electrical Brain Stimulation May Reduce Future Violent Crime (comedyopenmic #20)

in humor •  6 years ago 

Electrical Brain Stimulation May Reduce Future Violent Crime: Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania found that applying an electric current to a part of the brain linked to violent acts reduced people’s inclinations to commit assault. So if I’m understanding this study correctly, probably the best thing we can do to prevent violent assault is to make sure our electric bills are paid in full each month.
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Justin Bieber Sighted Directing Traffic in the Hamptons: People driving through the Hamptons this week got quite the shock to find Justin Bieber directing traffic after his gull-wing Mercedes in which he was transporting Hailey Baldwin broke down in the middle of the road. Boy, what horrible publicity for Mercedes. Not the fact that the Mercedes broke down, but that Justin Bieber was seen driving one.
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Barnes & Noble CEO Fired for Unspecified Company Policy Violation: Barnes & Noble CEO Demos Parneros has been fired for what is being called an “unspecified company policy violation.” Gee, wonder what company policy he violated to end up fired?” He must have actually sold something.
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He must have actually sold something.

i weep on B & N's behalf. what a wicked line.

The Bieb! I would have just died. My cheeks are quivering just thinking about it :)

Not necessarily the news :-)

People driving through the Hamptons this week got quite the shock

That line in itself is funny, but add Justin Bieber and I'm laughing...

A Gull Wing - I don't think so

Does Justin Bieber still live, damn it, thought that boy would have been long gone by now..