"Yellow Bunny Sees the Light" by Richard F. Yates

Yellow Bunny left his friends' apartment one evening for a stroll. It was unseasonably warm, and Bunny thought that might be affecting the color of the sky, which was a peculiar shade of neon green, but Bunny had just finished eating a "special" fruit pie, so he wasn't too bothered by the synaesthetic display.

He plodded along, snickering at the sounds his feet made on the sidewalk, until he noticed a ringing sensation in his teeth and skin. He considered laughing---wondered if he was having a stroke---considered laughing even harder, and then noticed a bright white light in the sky. (It was suddenly dark out, too. Bunny wasn't sure how long he'd been plodding and considering laughing...)

The light grew closer, making a 1950's sci-fi theramin sound. And Yellow Bunny finally burst into laughter so extreme his eyes filled with tears.

"Greetings," said a voice from the light. "We are the Space Brothers."

"Hey," said Bunny, once he'd caught his breath. "'Sup!?"

"Do not be afraid," the light said.

"I wasn't...until you said that..." Bunny murmured.

A muffled voice from the light said, "I told you, Marvin. You don't need to say that anymore..."

"Ssshhh, quiet, Phil. Anyway, Earth man, we bring you grave..."

"I'm a rabbit, dude," Bunny said.

"...news..." the voice from the light faultered. "Umm... Sorry. Earth creature, we bring you grave news. Your planet is at a cosmic crossroads, but fear not! We have come to guide you away from disaster and toward a higher state of consciousness!" (Stringed music seemed to swell as the voice spoke.)

"Dude, my consciousness is pretty high already," Bunny said to the light, and then he added to himself, "Either that last fruit pie was quadruple strength or I AM having a stroke..."

"I assure you," the light said in slightly strained tones, "you are NOT having a stroke."

"That's just what a stroke would say," Bunny said.

"Marvin, I believe this creature is intoxicated," the other voice from the light said.

"Ding! Ding! Ding! Tell him what he's won!" Yellow Bunny said, and then started laughing again.

"Listen, Earthling, we are trying to save your planet from disaster and help you achieve a cosmic consciousness..." The voice was downright testy at this point.

Bunny stopped laughing, wiped the tears from his cheek fur, and said, "That sounds awesome, dude, but I am seriously starving right now, so I'm gonna split. Maybe take your light show up to the White House and.... No. Not there..." Bunny scratched his head for a second. The light, which had been a pure white was now a dull pink...slowly moving towards a deep red.

"I know," Bunny said, "Go hit up Bill Gates. That guy's crazy AND loaded. He could probably help you find whatever it was you said you were looking for. Later, skaters!" Bunny waved at the light and took a few steps, realized the mini-mart was in the other direction, spun around, balanced himself, and walked away from the light.

I can't be certain, but I think the string of noises I heard, as the red pulsing light flew away from the planet, was some kind of intergalactic cussing an order of magnitude greater than any curse words we have on Earth. Those Space Brothers have SO MUCH to teach us!

---Richard F. Yates

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