JUDGE ME, FEEL SORRY OR HATE ME

After reading this
You may judge me
Feel sorry for me
Or hate me

But thats ok
I've done those to myself already
But listen still
So you wouldn't thread my path

When she became pregnant with my kid
I panicked
Some how my fear got the better of me
And i abandoned her

I heard she cried all day
That her parents chased her out
That she nearly commited suicide
Still i stayed away

I could barely take care of myself
Talk more of a kid and a woman
But as guilt grew
I buried myself in work

And one day she came knocking
Mum opened the door
She was in rags with my kid in her arms
She clearly needed my help

She looked weak, tired and hungry
And my kid looked sick
But i couldn't embarass my family
So i denied her and the kid

Right infront of everyone
I called her an opportuinist
And we all laughed at her
And chased her away

I could see the pains in her eyes
As she tearful smiled at me
And said "thank you"
And left, both her and my kid crying

That was 10years ago
Now am rich and wealthy
And i miss my kid
Sadly, i can't procreate anymore

I had an accident that rendered me impotent
So i searched for her and my kid
And finally found them

But she was happy now
Tucked neatly in another mans arms
And my son calls him daddy
Why does it hurt so much

Another man saw the angel in her
Made her his queen
Gave her all i failed to give her
And made my son his prince

I had no rights to break this happy family up
And steal her happiness a second time
But somehow
I found myself knocking on thier door

How dare you? She said
"Blood is thicker than water,
I came for my kid" i replied
But

My heart got broken
I was dead to them both
My kid called me a stranger
And i meant nothing to her anymore

They wanted nothing to do with me
Nor my money
Family over everything she said
Money means nothing without family

I'm broken
Watching my kid grow from a distance
Now i wish
I had never

Let go

#shreds