You filthy pig! (Bullshit about mens hygiene and public restrooms

Men are pigs. There. I said it. It might very well be that women are also pigs, but I haven't spent enough time in the ladies bathroom to know.

'Cause what I'm writing about is the bathroom behaviour. Is that even a term? Bathroom behaviour? Well, I guess it is now. In general, and I do underline "in general", we men are pigs. As long as the toilet seat has existed, there has been a battle of the sexes, whether the lid should be left up or down. But let's forget the women and focus on us men.

I've read that 50% of men wash their hands after going to the toilet. This was based on statistics from a puclic restroom. Basically this means that half of all men walk around with shitty gritty germs on their hands. After getting this result, they took a look at changing this. They hung a sign on the wall, remembering people to wash their hands. What doo you think happened? Well, obviously no one is going to tell us men what do do, because after the sign, even less than 50% washed their hands. I don't doubt the results for a minute. You don't need many visits to a public toilet to notice all of the people who go directly from the stalls to the door.

Back to the toilet- seat and lid. If you take a look at the video at the bottom, from around 04:50 and onwards, you can see why we should close the lid before flushing. With the lid up - millions of bacterias will be airborne when you flush. A lot of these will end up on your body. So, beautiful female; don't yell at your man because he left the seat up. Find an evening together, with some soft light and romantic music, and spend the night teaching each other how to both put the seat down and close the lid.

Back to the men. All of the trousersnakes aren't alike. Some are so small tht at you can't get a decent hold of it, and thus can't control it. Other trunks are so long, that it's like letting a 2-year-old try to handle a firehose with full pressure. Off course it can be a bit messy sometimes, I fully understand that. But the great thing about restrooms are that there almost always are toilet paper there. The paper that you hopefully wipe your exhaust port with. It is possible to use the same kind of paper to wipe up the mess that you might have made. It's also very much legal to wipe away the fur that you might have lost along the way, so that the next visitor doesn't have to make his way through your pubes to urinate. And please, wash your hands before you go. With soap. And remember to get your thumbs in there as well, when you finally wash.

Amou Haji (82) haven't washed in over 60 years. Favourite food: Rotted hedgehogs. Hobby: Smoking animal fecies. Is this who you want to become?

To conclude, here is my guide to using the toilet:

1. Lift up the lid and toiletseat.
2. Take out your boa in a steady and controlled fashion.
3. There is no shame in sitting down, even though you're just going for number 1. Well, yes there is. It is actually incredibly feminine and embarrassing. But if you can't control your wiener, then sit down!
4. When you are down; stand up slowly. Wipe if needed and tuck away your beast.
5. Take a look around. Did you make a mess? Then wipe! Any pubes left? Wipe!
6. Put the seat and lid down.
7. Flush.
8. WASH YOUR HANDS!

Video:
http://dai.ly/x150m4i