Should I quit my job if I'm the only male in my department.

in ibkehinde •  7 years ago 

“"Nobody talks to me” “no one wants to play with me” “I’m ugly””every one calls me names””nobody even says “hi””…….all things I would tell my mom when I got home from school….. from second grade until eleventh grade!!! I'd cry, I'd mope, I don't know why my mom listened to me day after day, year after year. She must have offered suggestions, but I don't remember what they were. One day she looked up at me (had she never looked at me before? I don't know, but I specifically remember her looking up from whatever she was doing) and ask me “do you say “hi” to people you pass in the halls? do you smile first? How do you know they aren't thinking you don't like them? Maybe they are shy, or afraid you will reject them”.

This opened my eyes….I started slow, with a smile. I tried to look up and have a smile on my face. If my eyes met someone else's, I chirped out a fast “"hi!”. Life didn't change over night, because people had preconceived ideas about me….I found out later people thought my shyness was me being stuck up!!!! They thought I was smart and looked down on them!!!!! Oh, my, goodness!!!! Also, by the time I graduated, I realized looks DO matter….my mom, being a tomboy, never encouraged being the least bit fashionable, I never thought of wearing my hair in a flattering style….these things do change people's perception of you. Also, good personal hygiene. A low key excellent cologne, applied sparingly. But, most importantly, think about THEM…..your co workers, people in general. Treat them as you want to be treated!!! Greet them, smile, acknowledge you SEE them, eventually you will find you genuinely care about them, and they about you. Remember, tho, this change will not happen overnight….their perception of who you are wasn’t created over night, it won't change overnight. But you can practice looking people in the eye, your smile & a greeting & being pleasant to people you meet in your every day life outside of work, too.

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