“You’re my person. You’ll always be my person.” — Cristina Yang.
Grey’s Anatomy introduced a special term into our lives. Do you have your person?
‘My Person’.
If you are anything like me, you would have gone through many days of loneliness or times where you just can’t find anybody to call after scrolling through your phonebook multiple times for hours while crying.
“Do we really need this person?” No we don’t but life would be more colourful and better with this person.
“How do we find this person?” you ask. We don’t find them, they just happen.
Some of us are lucky to have the same person from young till forever. Maybe one days even checking in the same old age care place together. That’s probably the plan. The chats about when we are old and wrinkly but burst out dancing in public and ogling handsome half naked man in a gym with six packs.
The person we are dying to call to share the latest thoughts, jokes, happiness or embarrassing stories. That person might change throughout our lives. When this happens, it does rip a little of our heart away. Sometimes your new person might be able to mend that little hurt but usually it’s not the same yet utterly delightful to have a new ‘my person’.
I moved a lot when I was little. It sucks every time but I’ve learned to cope. My first real person is when I was eleven. The secret letters because we had different group of friends who didn’t like me around and I didn’t like them too but we played it cool with me letting her be popular with them yet we chat heaps on the phone. We grew up together and she stayed my person for almost twenty years. While I was in a different country, through surgeries, illnesses, work dramas, parents breaking up, she was the first person I think of telling or calling for an opinion whose I know will be real, raw, but loving. I have spent evenings sitting in my closet with the door close crying while I called her, pouring my heart out and she made time. Throughout time, she slowly faded away when live took place. The boyfriend, marriage, child. It was cold and it hurts each time I wanted to call her but I had to hold myself back. Life happened. It didn’t happen the way I wish it did but I just did.
My person was replaced throughout time. Friendship takes time to build and I realized after losing my first person, I built this wall around me because I was hurt. Like getting burn, you will refrain or be vary from touching any kettle again. It takes us to open up a little if you want your person. If they are meant to be your real person, they will know how to handle you and everything else that comes with it. That is what I have learnt through time.
Guess my person will change as life changes. They will find their own person too if you aren’t enough for them. I have learned though to savor my person as long as I got one. If they need to move on, you let them go. If it’s meant to be, they will be back. If it’s not, you have a choice to find another person to be yours or live a lonely life.
Don’t be fooled. Your person is not supposed to be with you whole time. They are only human too. Your person is one who you know you can tell them you need them in times of emergency and they will be there. Or if you need a chat, they will find a time to talk to you despite their crazy schedule and not having time to themselves too. On the other hand, you need to be the same person you expect them to be to you. To love each other no matter how flawed they are. The moment you spent in thought of each other but across the ocean. Or when you finally meet a whole year later just to sit in silence enjoying the company.
I hope you find your person so life can be lived wonderfully, colorful and filled with adventures.