For better or for worse

Some days, those words ring so damn loud I feel I may just implode. "For better or for worse." Those are the days however, when other minuscule matters are given more power than they deserve. You see, my wonderful husband and I are practicing for children. I say practice because - well we know how the hell its done. "Trying" just makes it feel more of a failure on our part. Being that its been a good 3 solid years of "trying." We much rather like to think we are in good practice of the process. Why take the fun out of it?! We are after all in excellent shape, and generally healthier than most. We've got a hot and heavy, steady practice. Catch my drift? ;D

I guess it just gets to me every once in a while, because hey, I'm only human. And sh*t gets frustrating every now and then. And its on those days where other troubles are just somehow magnified. In normal circumstances, we actually have a great attitude about it. We just don't see the point in being bitter, self pitying, or discouraged. Which isn't to say it didn't take lots of ugly crying, bitter heart-ed moments to get to the better days.

As it stands, we've gone through multiple tests, assessments, blood work, ultrasounds, 2 ectopic pregnancies, more tests, more blood work, more imaging studies...the results - unexplained/unknown. So, basically wtf right? Yeah that's what we said. To sum it all up, we are at the part of the process where all we need to do is schedule the in-vitro procedure. So it ISN'T impossible, just extra and outside normal processes. Which costs a bajillion...ok well obviously not THAT much. But it adds up and FEELS like that much. (-_-) Don't even get me started on my health insurance situation. Two words: f**ked over. :/

Anyway, we just got back from holidays spent in Canada. Good food, good company, and a damn good time were all had. It was a sweet distraction. Upon returning from our week long trip, we had a whole week to just nestle and hatch ourselves back into a routine. During that week we decided we will go through with in-vitro fertilization soon as we have accumulated the budget for it. Depending on the time frame it will take, we will be subject to RE-testing/RE-workups to ensure cellular/hormonal order of all the things. Which takes us back to square one as far as finances go. Fun stuff right? sighh You guys feel like you are in our revolving door yet? Go ahead and push us out mmk? Thanks!

But really you all, thank you for reading through my rant. Emotionally it really isn't so bad anymore. We've (mostly me) outgrown and let go of the negativity. I personally have an interesting way of coping, ( did you note sarcasm at all)? And my handsome hubster puts the virtue in "patience is a virtue" - he radiates positive vibes wherever he goes!

In the end, it really boils down to CHOOSING. No matter what cards are thrown at us. We choose the BETTER angle. Being positive is BETTER than being negative. Not giving up is BETTER than giving in. Practicing is BETTER than trying. There is always a BETTER side to things. We need only to allow ourselves the will to SEE it.

Here is a picture of us this past summer at my tia's surprise birthday party.