OVERCOMING INSECURITIES

What is insecurity? Insecurity is when you feel so inferior. You doubt yourself about things you want to do. You lack confidence and you feel very uncertain about your capabilities. But why do we feel this anyway? This is what I think is causing it. Again, this is my personal views and perception. I have identified this maybe because I had moments in the past when I kind of felt it. Comparison. I grew up in a place where everybody is being compared. She is prettier, skinnier. They are more intelligent, they have bigger house, they have more money, they have better toys... All these things was killing me when I was younger. So everytime, I want something, I keep quiet. I step away from the crowd thinking maybe I really didn't belong.

As I grew older, I have the need to have more. More money, more toys, more clothes, cool shoes, new phones and so on... I thought when I get to have all these things, I will belong. I will have friends. I am cool.

Only now that I realized that these things don't really matter. I have such great personality that my my real friends love. They enjoyed my company, not the things I have. I stopped comparing myself to others but instead, I start making goals. Comparing myself to other people won't get me my dreams, they're just slow down the process.
I thought about the things that I missed because I was too scared to try. I thought about all the wonderful blessings that I have that I was just wishing before. It made me feel satisfied, and happy. I learned to say NO to the things I cannot afford and start planning my priorities. I wanted to get me a new phone but I know I can't pay for it now so I started saving. I felt lighter, happier.

Then I started comparing again. Not myself to others, but myself now and myself then. I felt disappointed I wasn't able to realize it earlier. But I'm glad I still did. It wasn't easy. It took me years to figure it out, but I figured it out.