Is It Real?

I was outside a little while ago, sitting on the ground with my shoes off, doing some grounding. Thinking about issues and writing.

Really, only a short distance from this spot:

For now, this place is just a blog to me, since my old forum was shut down. A place where I can write and share my stories and insights, although because the official audience feels so different, I rarely really sit down and just write, off the top of my head. Like I used to do on FCN. I would like to have a safe place for doing that again but for now, this will have to do.

I mean, I know there are people following my story. When I wrote on FCN, my threads often typically would number in the hundreds and sometimes getting up in the thousands of views. So people were paying attention. Actually, I was given a vision a few weeks ago before a minor change on the posting board for views (here on Steemit), right after one of my posts. My vision showed 241 views. I think it was a message telling me that there really are people following in some chain of command structure of people 'in the know.' People who get my posts one way or another.

Writing to an audience, when you have some idea who is listening, is a trick. Or better yet, when you don't know. Vs. writing at the surface level of what appears to be here, that very few people are paying attention.

I've been working hard on a chart reading that I want to post. Its in draft form ... I want to go over it more carefully before I post it and its already pretty complex. So I'm taking a break from that writing project but still wanting to stay or work on grounding with my writing voice.

So what's going on?

Well, when I was sitting there looking into the energy grid, I was thinking about ... "experiences" I have and whether or not there's valid proof. Where to define reality!! Its a thing, for empaths and being able to percieve things beyond only what is seen. But not just us. Its an issue for everyone in this day and age. Thanks to mind control, special effects in movies, fake news. Not knowing for sure what is really real.

I'm always trying to get grounded and 'reach' the others, those on the other side of all this. Those I try to write to. Those I try to feel if I can. Kindof, defining the current situation and also perhaps drawing the line on some of it.

What was the most recent 'shocking' thing that happened?

About two weeks ago? I took my son to a local restaurant for lunch. Its a place we used to frequent, probably our favorite. A Pho/Vietnamese restaurant in Evergreen, Colorado. We were out grocery shopping for the day and planned to stop for a meal.

Well. We got our food and I took a few bites, and I started to lose consciousness!!

I realized that I had been drugged. For us Indigos, we do have some immunity here - it is one of our special abilities. I went into my grounded prayer state and threw it off, as much as I could. It was enough. We finished eating and paid and left. The rest of the afternoon though, my balance was off just a bit as I was walking around in the grocery store.

Was it real?
It totally was.

Not only that. But I had met a friend in that same restaurant for lunch a few weeks before this. This friend, I believe, is an agent. I met her through a local support group I joined recently, for 'victims of domestic, intimate violence abuse.' She's nice to me for the most part, but I think the name she gave me isn't her real name. I got the real one in my head after I first met her. I appreciate her presence so far but I do sometimes feel her anger and impatience. I am still trying to sort out her angle in all of this. Anyway, we met for lunch. She was acting really really weird. She was SO nervous, and she barely touched her food. She kept looking at the guy next to us, who was there with a young girl, I figured it was his daughter. I knew something was up. Later on, looking back at the whole thing from my usual meditative state, I thought that my water had been drugged. It was odd that I didn't drink it, I felt almost a push away from it and normally I'm pretty thorough about drinking my water to be health conscious. Looking back I was realizing that something was telling me not to drink it for a reason.

Was it real?
I wasn't sure but after what happened two weeks ago, it kindof makes more sense.

People have tried really hard to paint me as crazy to myself. There's been a lot of bullying and abuse connected to that, after a mental breakdown a few years ago. So I'm always going over certain things in my head.

This afternoon, I was sitting in a spot where I could see the deck of my house and the back yard, where something really strange took place last summer. So again, I was thinking about 'strange' experiences and whether or not I could prove them, at least to myself. Just them being provable. I mean, people don't have to believe what you are telling them as fact! One of the issues with many of the narcissists I deal with, people who negate facts, as if I were not telling them the truth.

I was thinking about things my husband has been up to. Dangerous things. It shocked me to look back on just how dangerous they really got to be! At times. The most recent issue has been him spiking food with substances passed to him through the corrupt intel structure of people surrounding us in the community. I thought it had stopped.

This is, the dangerous stuff mostly ... calmed down, gotten under some control. What I deal with currently in terms of stress over personal safety. I bet it seems like a lot. But it has been way worse.

Is it real?

I was remembering last summer when I was going through brain healing crisis and he and my son were both wigging out silently, around me. I believe they had both been reached/contacted/compromised ... to work against me. Although I thought that had already been going on for quite some time. It seemed to be a new level of sabotage.

The dogs. Last summer, they were suddenly sticking very close to me. They got really protective and often put themselves between me and the door to my bedroom, the access point. They would growl and bark warning my husband and even my son, about getting close. Sometimes when they just passed by the door. They were totally on edge. This went on, off and on, over most of the summer. Looking back I realize how volatile and dangerous things had to be. I knew it, I mean, I could FEEL it. But the intensity of daily experiences like this over time, tends to numb you out somewhat. OMG, you wouldn't believe how much fear there has been.

There was one time, I had this scary fantasy that a rogue alien antiquities business from someplace, wanted my eyeglasses! WTF. At the time I thought they or someone was coming for me. Just that there was so much loose terror around! This was right after the shifts at the end of August and the early part of September too, by the way. Things were pretty chaotic around here, just under the surface. I saw 'things.'

There was one night, I got up to get a glass of water from the kitchen or something, and one of my dogs literally took my hand in his mouth and led me to the back door and outside. Well, it was not typical behavior at all. It scared me pretty badly and I WENT. There were no lights on in the house and I did not know where my husband or son were, just that they were around. This dog eventually led me to a corner of the yard where I hunkered down to hide in safety. He sat right next to me on high alert, between me and access to the stairs out of the yard into the house. We must have sat there for hours. Something was going on in the house, I know not what. Although I have a few theories now. But this whole experience was not my imagination. In the stress of it all, I had almost forgotten it and then somehow the memory surfaced fairly recently, months after. The dog!

All of this is connected to my role in the manifestation of New Earth.

This is the explanation for the control and manipulation over me, my family, and my life over the last 20 or so (longer than that even) years. I started to tell my story ... just trying to me chronological and systematic about it. Different times, here on Steemit. Other places! There's so much to tell. I've written a lot down my blog page and barely even scratched the surface. But I kindof needed to maybe ... have a starting place again, or a restart, for sharing things ... updates, about my situation. Or just things I need to tell the ones in the know. More of a direct interface?

I will say, there seems to have been a major breakthrough. A lot of changes recently, and in my own work - resolution of issues - strategy. Some major astrological shifts as well, last month. So this is good news, despite the dark things I've reported here. Sometimes I totally lose my sense of perspective. I get so used to having to be on guard, or of having really crazy life circumstances, where it becomes second nature to relate to things as I've learned to under such extreme stress ... that I don't even realize anymore that it shouldn't be like this.

These little notes are yeah, little SOS's.
Its complicated.

Stay tuned!

LR 7/2/2018