Hi! I'm Meredith and your butt looks great in those jeans.

in introducemyself •  8 years ago 

I'm a freelance writer/editor/digital content creator in northern New England who makes a mean coq au vin and moonlights as a bikini model (and also lies a lot). In truth, I drink Coors Light and require an act of god to get out of my sweatpants. But I'm fun at a happy hour and can help you rationalize anything you've done, short of murder and the less appealing paraphilias.

Looking forward to getting to know some of you and figuring out how the hell to use this thing. Any advice appreciated as long as it doesn't mess with my inspiring life plan of lust, gluttony and sloth. Slainte, baybees.


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Welcome to Steemit @meredithfinn :D

Well that was entertaining. I've a feeling you'll fit in just fine.

Good luck with all this!

Welcome to Steemit!

Welcome! For verification we need proof of your cooking skills. Please send a sample to each Steemit member for review.

I think I might have found my soul mate!

Seriously. As soon as I read up to the word "sloth" in your post, it hit me like a ton of bricks -

I just KNEW that this fly which landed on my nose about 3 hours ago is my long lost soul companion. I know this sounds crazy, but I'm certain that I've lived billions of lives with that old soul, always as a lover, she's always the fly and I'm always the swatter.

It just kills me to think that I swatted it against the wall and proceeded to stomp on it until it turned into a black goo on the bottom of my shoe, almost indistinguishable from the the petrified doggy-doo/ gum that I've been too lazy to pick off for the better part of this century...but I digress.

Woe is me, for my long lost love is now being licked off of my shoe by Smortzy-Portsy, the friendly feline Calico, who's no longer welcome to lick my face :(

:(

welcome to steemit.
^^

Welcome! Looking forward to more from you.