Hey guys. Call me Graymalkin. I'm from NYC. Work in Westchester. Am subcontracted by the Department of Social Services. I work to keep families from being torn apart by the foster care system (it's pretty fucking shitty, at least here in NYC/NYS).
I deal with "vicarious trauma" almost every single day, hearing about the difficulties in other peoples' lives. It runs the gamut from psychiatric issues, poverty, sexual or physical abuse, DV, substance abuse disorder, etc. Having gone through many of those things myself, it's sometimes hard to remove myself from the role of "rescuer," which can be tricky. But I also find that people in this field can lack compassion or conviction or a true understanding of what other people need or want.
I'm only 24. Feel like an impostor when I don't think I can really help someone in the way that I hope to. There's only so much one person can do. Plus, most of the workday is bloated by progress notes and other things that have to be submitted to the DSS or ACS. Wondering how many other working twenty-somethings feel the same way? I want to effect change and not just collect a paycheck (the pay is not exactly commensurate to the cost of living in NYC... but that's a post for another time).
I'm also the mother of a special needs toddler and am single and a poet. But again, this is just my "introduction."
:-)
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Welcome. I don't consider your post to be negative. I went into acute mental health work at the age of 24 myself. I was idealistic, and quite disillusioned that I was not able to effect change from within the public system. I wanted to help people, and I felt like I was just a tool of the system that contained and medicated without impacting peoples lives in a positive way.
What I have leant in the past ... (well over a decade), is that you can make positive impact that the individual can take with them and grow from.
Your work is vicariously traumatising. The things I was exposed to in those early days were a massive eye opener. You may not feel like you are doing much, but a kind hearted person can have an enduring impact on those they care for.
You may never know how you impact some people, but your efforts are not for naught.
Steemit for me is an outlet to help balance the sometimes traumatic work that I do.
I am following, and look forward to reading your poetry <3
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It's hard to watch people continually self-destruct knowing only they can fix themselves. Even if you acknowledge they have been dealt a shitty hand in life... you can't undeal it for them, can you?
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Agreed completely. You can give them access to tools and hope that they see them for what they are, but yeah, that's my whole issue with falling into the trap of being an empathetic rescuer and thus an enabler to their self-destructive behavior half the time. Don't get me wrong, it's not so cut and dry. There are families that legitimately fall on hard times and work hard to get back to some modicum of health and wellness and stability, but some people... cannot be helped. And that's just a fact in this line of work.
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I don't "work" (for a living) in this "Line". I do work with several individuals transitioning out of the "system" of incarceration. 4+ years. Empathy is 'crap', and I don't "Rescue". These people are not drowning, they're "Lost". Lost in a system of "I'm going to help you, it's MY job".
Give them the "hand up" and stop the "Hand Out". It's not "Tough Love". It's - I'm going to stick by you, and not accept your crap, but "yes" I will help you of you want to help too. (and screw you if you don't) ::Horrible, Right::
Don't let being 24 (or any age) dissuade you. Do your best everyday, and never accept responsibility for another's actions. They will disappoint you.
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Thank you! I truly feel invigorated after reading this. You know exactly what I am trying to express. I think hand ups are much better than hand outs. I am learning how to not just hold peoples' hands through tough processes but ask them questions that will lead to their own clarity. And it's not as easy as it seems. Not for me anyway. And thank you for telling me not to accept responsibility for another's actions... can't forget something as important as that (though it slips my mind always).
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Welcome to Steemit @graymalkin :D
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@rachelmills Pretty Negative Post. (I'd down vote you, but I don't do that) If self-fixes were 'built in' then why the "Job" of who you are pandering to?
You "grew up RUDE" ... or did you take a Class?
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I'm not sure if you were referring to the whole post or just the reply I responded to... but I do concede to you that it is a pretty negative context that I write in, sadly. I don't want to be a savior, but I do want to help people out of a bad way as much as I know how or can, you know?
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@graymalkin Your good! You were just writing out of your experience, I applaud you. I was replying to @racelmills. I upvoted and shared your post! :D
Also, following and wish you well. I moved from NY 7 years ago.
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This post has been ranked within the top 25 most undervalued posts in the first half of Dec 14. We estimate that this post is undervalued by $9.78 as compared to a scenario in which every voter had an equal say.
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Follow me for More 😊
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That sounds rough.. But hey.. I think every little bit you help is great. Especially to the ones who are being helped.. i'm sure they appreciate it! Even if sometimes they don't know how to express it or if they aren't even aware in the way in which they've been helped.
The world is pretty dark, so I think all the more people who are doing something positive to help others the better! Thanks!
Welcome to steemit. Good luck on here. Upvoted and I followed you as well.
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Congratulations @graymalkin! You received a personal award!
Click here to view your Board of Honor
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Congratulations @graymalkin! You received a personal award!
You can view your badges on your Steem Board and compare to others on the Steem Ranking
Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness to get one more award and increased upvotes!
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