swolesome: "Find people and things you want to wake up for and surround yourself with them."

THIS. For the love of humanity (but especially yourself), Beth, THIS. So many people have got no earthly idea just how much this really does mean, not just for those who are suffering like you are, but for us ALL. Things that we love, to live for. Not because anyone else thinks they're important, but because we love them, and they're important to US.

It's like what happens if you drop one tiny pebble at a time into a pitcher of water. Each pebble causes a little more water to run out, till finally there's pretty much no water left. Now replace the word "water" with the word "misery." The positive things... your card-making, scrapbooking and so on... are the pebbles. Keep throwing more in as you find them, and one day you may wake up and look at your life, and find it so changed for the better that your old thoughts may begin to change also. It's like life handing you lemons, and you trading it in for a mountain of chocolate.

We need those positive things. All of us do.

Sent up a prayer for you, in any case.