I FINALLY coughed up the Will and Courage to get started AGAIN.

I've said 'New Year, New Me" constantly as if that is the spell that'll help me manifest my destiny. But in all honesty, I'm still doing the same ol shit, but less depressed. you can call me Myriad.

Quick Status;
Alias: Myriad
Earth Name: Mychole Price
Age: 24 but feels Ancient
Type: Night Creature
Magic Type: Dream Walker
Summoning totem: Spiders, Foxes, Snakes and Blue Jays
Favorite Deities: Eleggua, Yemoja/Olokun, Ianana and Grandma Spider, Lilith and Chinnamasta
Skill Set: Dreamweaving, Witch Spit (incantation), Sucking cock (sex magic), Wordcrafter, Control Wielder, Sleeper
Located: Frigid North
Nature: Abrasive in Rage Mode. Tender in Normal Mode.

Longer Status:
So I'm finally going to press post on this. It's been months and I've made too many promises to myself that I'm not keeping. When I used to write, everything started moving, it felt so right. Now I'm clacking away at the board trying to fit myself on a singular post but I figured that's impossible so I'll just hopefully rope you into following me on this journey.

I've been feeling helpless, directionless and yet full of hope and fantasy. While I will say I've gotten lost in my spiritual journey to foolishness and almost insanity (depressed for 2 years!!!!), understanding that now I have to take all the time I've had to practice to actually BEGIN implementing my knowledge and skill. It sucks. I'm balding, either from stress or my bastard father's genetics! I've lost so much weight, I use to have it all, thighs and ass (because that's the only thing I care about for myself) and now I just have ass cries. But I'm going to perform to the best of my ability, irregardless(yes..irregardless).

The picture is a few days old, I planned on posting this sooner but I was trash and never actually got around to it. However, my phone is now shattered so my picture quality is now even greater trash than it was

So here's some pictures of my room, as you can see I'm worldly and travel a lot stares. But I just finished setting it up last week...which was when I was supposed to post this story smh.

In the image above you can see a half done bed (I'm learning to make it every morning). There are crystal on the bed frame; Labradorite and Aura Amethyst to help facilitate and trigger me dream modes. My friend Bernie (Invisible Man) sits in the corner, guarding and protecting throughout the night. Colored pens to attempt art and loads of condoms that are rarely used...they're just not comfortable but I know...safe sex blahblah~.

Above is the entertainment center that is used mainly for gaming, holding dust and being background noise for when I'm having sex. Netflix and chill bitch. But I have all my games from ps2 to ps4, ds to 3ds stuck in there. I thought I had more PS1 games but they have vanished...like all of my Pokemon games...someone has stolen them I'm sure (I'm gonna find the little fuck). In the wicker I have Crystal Kay albums and A.I. albums from my Japan trip. Yes I was a Japanophile for years, otaku at THAT. Transracial lives mattered back in the day and I was the first Dolezal. Are you Japanese: "I don't understand the...question". Something about Japan was god for me, it urged me to eliminate my identity and adopt this one. While I began to learn about the language and the spirituality I began to fixate on my life in Japan as a teenager. I yearned for that existence so much that by the 11th grade I was given the opportunity to go for a month...and yes I sure did show the fuck out! Roppongi was lit, my 17 year old self thought he was grown. But...that's all I need to say.

Japan however gave me great insight into storytelling, horror, hip-hop and an appreciation for aesthetic. All of these things I carry with me to this day, but have been lacking the will to push. But now I'm ready, because there is NOTHING to lose anymore. Trump is President. Mumble rap is being taken seriously. And everyone is going crazy. It's my TIME now. lol but even if I don't succeed with my fantasies of world domination, I can say I honestly attempted with sincerity and hopefully had fun doing it.

The above picture is my Internet access. For hardcore porn, Microsoft word and that's honestly it. Downloading occasional music. I'm enjoying how it's sectioned off from my room and keeps a tight little cozy spot to the left where I can read all my 'mundane' books and focus.
(Don't focus on the lube). At this window I have access the outside world where I can look out into my neighborhood that is actually rather safe. However my BLOCK is the most ghetto palace I've ever lived in. Something began to change around teenage years, certain individuals moved in with their mentalities of screaming at their kids for disrespect when the parents were the most hazardous. I can hear a couple yell at each other, one proclaiming that his girl is "using up the internet". But she claps back saying "you ain't been doin anything but play on that Xbox all day. You the only one using the internet". They calmed down their antics thankfully. I also hear them have sex...and he certainly can go. But...it sucks when I'm in witch time (heightened state) because then I can tap into the noise and I get aroused...it's not cute.

Above is the last picture I'll bore you with. So here is my self-care altar. I have GuanYin as a staple here to remind me that love is essential for me to function. And even when I despise loving you humans, there is still a spec of respectability that I MUST give, because at the end of the day love will push you into the arms of happiness and growth. Kannon reminds me that my mission isn't for self-gratification, even though it'll feel rather gratifying, but it's to learn to trust my own heart that I keep locked to myself. However that's a process and I will ascend when appropriate. I struggle with beauty, inner and outer. I feel ugly...and regardless of how I feel and how I see myself, my shell isn't important...but the frame, the foundation of my being is. I live in a Chinnamasta mindset, and I have to conquer myself. It feels like it's getting harder to break some barriers that I put in place, unknowingly, myself. I look in the mirror everyday and remind myself that I am beautiful. And even if you don't believe it, utilize that others see in order to assist everything outside of you. And that's how I get through the day currently.

So to give you some quick alternative facts. I enjoy music, anything that just sounds good. Some songs aren't for me but I do know when something sounds good. I can bounce from Soul Scream to NIN, to Coltrane to Bjork., Akira Yamaoka to Azealia Banks. If there is a soul, I will certainly listen and feel it. Just like with movies, I enjoy things that I can discuss or look at after with a critical eye. Sweet, funny movies are guilty pleasures but they aren't something I do normally (as well as the idiotic bro movies...I still enjoy that problematic ass shit). I AM too much in my head most of the time so rarely do I 'enjoy' the moment...but I'm trying to, it's another part of my nature I don't have much access to but recognize is alive within.

With my cerebral fixation brings forth the need to understand the world around me on a non-physical scale. So the occult has called me since a young age to find understanding in this chaotic drama. For awhile I went crazy, falling down rabbit holes and letting my ego override my judgement and hurling me into manic states of grandiose illusion. However in the craziness I've recognized that aspect of spirituality that rides the fine line of feeling Godly and feeling like nothing matters at all. And in this current state I'm trying to balance these aspects of my mind. In my manic state I'm a child of the Succubus archetype, learning to navigate the world with an open heart instead of open mouth/legs. But in my 'less fantastical state', I know nothing matters in this world, and everything is free to happen. But as a human being we believe things matter and that what moves us, that purpose to exist. Either for the self or others. This journey has been hectic...and debilitating. But with trust in this uncertainty of my spiritual path, I'll be led to become who I'm supposed to be. I'm a sex fiend on sabbatical. I'm an overthinker that underachieves. A case head with compassionate sensibilities. I'm a human being trying to make sense of myself.

So with all that said, hello Steemit. I'm hoping to just make posts centering on my thoughts and growth, can't wait to actually get involved and I'm excited to see where this will all go. Goodbye...and Hello!