Please don't ever feel down for being a girl. They are many motivating women personalities in history . Take time and read about them. You feel better and motivated.one more suggestion is that please get surrounded by good people who encourage you and fill positivity in life. From whatever you said I can see that you have gone through so many hardships in your and that might have toughened your character.

See all I can say is people who are grown up easily cannot survive in this modern world. So chill chill😀😀