In search of equilibrium and understanding. Allow me to introduce myself :)

Hello SteemIt! My name is Radu and I am from Romania.

I have so many questions and I know so little. My quest is to find meaning, improve myself and understand life and it’s mysteries. This blog is not for me to play the teacher with anyone. This is partially a diary for me. It’s the place where I will spill my thoughts. Have you ever talked to somebody only in order to make any sense of your own thoughts? I am a person who mostly thinks in words. Expressing myself and letting it all out helps me better understand what’s in my mind.

I may be only 18 years old and some would tag me as immature or silly, "reaching out for attention and recognition" ; "thinking he's so wise and awakened" ; "he thinks he's born in the wrong generation" kind of stuff. It's exactly the opposite.

I have always considered myself mediocre. I always sucked at things that most excel in. I have always been the one who struggled for hours to pass a simple test, while others seemed to know everything without even trying. My humour was never (and still isn't) my best bet, neither is my mathematical thinking. And so, I started asking myself questions. Am I really useless? What am I good at? How do I improve myself? How do I find my way? I was never really bad, but nowhere in comparison to others. It seemed like I didn't quite seem to fit.

I have finally found myself reading a lot, watching inspirational videos daily, getting into psychology, philosophy and spirituality. I started playing guitar, and trying everything I could possibly put my hands on. I forcefully pushed myself out of my comfort zone in order to find what are the things that start a fire inside of me. Funny enough, it's hard to find people interested in philosophy and spirituality to talk to. Most of the ones I tried to introduce to my passions, either raised an eyebrow, or got bored quickly. So, it seems I'm pretty much on my own.

Here is another thing that scares me a little, but also makes me excited. Writing a blog, free for anyone to see and criticize. I want to learn from this experience and take the most out of it. I look forward to connecting with people, learning from others and growing as a person.

I want to help start some fires inside of some. I believe this platform is the right place to do so.