my first steem it post

I did a lot of bad stuff as a child. Not too bad; I definitely wasn't as bad as some, but as the teachers Son I had some sort of imaginary immunity that I thought would protect me from experimenting with evil. I did put thumb tacks on the chairs at school in readiness for the following morning. I did ruin one girls pencil case by removing the caps from all her pens and blowing all the gel into her pencil case to create a swirling mass of paint. I call that art... but it certainly wasn't nice. I accidentally threw a rock that collided with the head of the girl my heart longed for. I threw it so high and for so long until it hit her square in the temple. I also accidentally threw a rock into a girl's eye too. I had a knack for accidentally throwing things at people and often hitting them in the head. I never meant to hurt anyone, even with the thumb tacks on chairs; I saw that on a movie.

I remember looking up porn on the internet in year 3 after school. One of the teachers crept into my father's classroom after school asked me If I ever looked up inappropriate things. At the time I wondered how on earth could she suspect me doing such a thing, but I also didn't know anything about browser history at that time either. In year 1 I used a particularly bendy plastic spoon to catapult a small rock right in between my teachers eyes. It hit her with a stunning comedic accuracy, bouncing off her fatty forehead and hitting the chalk board with a memorable clink. She stood up, glaring amongst the children looking far more menacing than usual, "WHO DID THIS?" she bellowed. At the time I thought I was on a covert special op's mission, taking the rock I had selected from my trouser pockets, along with the small spoon I had snatched from the canteen. I had tested the trajectory and velocity of the contraption in the previous recess break. It worked well. Nobody could see me performing my act but alas, moments after her bellowing I had a semi circle of small hands pointing at me, each hand raising like a domino effect. Red-faced and seething she sent me to Kindergarten for the remainder of the day; back one year, to reflect on my childish actions. Years later my parents divulged that every other teacher in the school despised this teacher due to her cruel and bullying nature. Her attitude didn't change between children, teacher or parent.

My catapult caused quite a ripple effect among the teachers. They were proud of my act; many of them wishing they could do the same, with a much larger catapult and stone. I heard that later in the year she managed to blow up a computer by plugging in the wrong cables. I hope the subsequent explosion managed to sear off that moustache that always quivered wildly amidst her anger. That is all I hope happened to her; no matter how much she resembled Mrs Trunchbull from Matilda, she did however have one quite impressive quality; her toy collection. A large hessian sack filled with the most elaborate mix of small toys one had ever seen. Years later I realised this sack was most likely a collection of toys confiscated off other children only to be used to reward other children; then often re-confiscated during times of punishment; an endless cycle. I crept up to her desk one day when the sack of toys lay slumped over the edge of her desk, the mouth of it drooping dangerously towards the ground. I grabbed a handful of toys without her beady black eyes spotting me; it forever went down in history as the greatest theft of all time. Her punishment system involved writing your name on the chalk board if you ever got in trouble. Trouble being whatever she deemed as trouble. Three times your name appeared on the board and you were in detention. On one day I was up to my third strike so I merely simpered over to the chalkboard, used my finger to erase my name on the second strike and re-wrote my name. These were the only two times I fooled her; but in my mind they were legendary for a 7 year old.