🗿 "And the only thing that makes me human is my never-ending longing..." 🗿

I wanted to share my rather sad and ridiculous CV with the world of this network for way too long. Now, the time has come, so brace yourself. Here are 156 random facts about @stacyisacoolcat featuring things you never wanted to know and things you absolutely don't need to know.

Hard at work.

I was born in a post-communist wasteland, in a Czech city with a close proximity to the Austrian and Slovakian border. It still looked more like a wasteland than a town the last time I checked two years ago.
Vienna was just one hour drive away, the same goes for Bratislava and I actually spent few months of my life in one of those cities – I just can't recall it. I was like... Three.
My mother became a successful businesswoman after the Velvet Revolution hit and owns memorabilia from the times of socialist Czechoslovakia and USSR. My father was a bourgeois punk. My step-sister is an art-bitch with an unnecessary Master's degree. She is probably just as sick as me but we were never close.
I have no idea why my family thought it's a great idea to move to Austria. It kinda ruined my life.
But who am I? I decided to do a collection of 156 fun facts about me. Why 156? It's my lucky number.

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1 – I grew up in an Austrian shithole 35 kilometers away from Innsbruck and absolved my primary education there.
2 – Reportedly, I was fluent in German and English by the age of seven. Self-taught.
3 – I knew how to speak "Austro-German" – With a strong eastern-bloc-dialect though. I was bullied because of that. So I decided to adopt a more Berlin-esque way of German later on.
4 – People think I'm from northern Germany because of that. A funny conversation starter.
5 – I've lived in Austria the majority of my life. I hate it when people assume that it makes me Austrian. No, it doesn't. Never did.
6 – I have a very strong "Me-Against-The-World"-mindest.
7 – Being always a little misanthropic, I rather spent my childhood creating... Artworks. I suppose...
8 – I never really had friends. And if I did, they betrayed me. Or they moved to a different town.
9 – I used to play tennis. I sucked at it due to my lack of coordination.
10 – Horseback riding was a thing too.
11 – I always wanted to have hair like Barbie. ❤️
12 – Being blessed with the darkest shade of brown, I once spent 9 hours at the hairdresser's to get my hair blonde and I'm never going back. Ever.
13 – I suck at basic math.
14 – That's why I got fired from my second real job at a bar.
15 – At some point in my life I wanted to become a ballet dancer. I'd probably suck at it too.

I was never a fan of the Austrian school-system. This picture proves it.

16 – My career plans always revolved around being in the spotlight. That was considered as selfish.
17 – Rockstar was not considered as a legit career.
18 – My current job description comes close to being a Rockstar though.
19 – Yes, it's real. I take pictures of people for a living.
20 – I worked as an assistant in a hair-salon. I had to quit cause my co-workers hated me.
21 – The owner of the hair-salon is my personal hairdresser now and we'll work on a project together soon. What goes around comes around, huh?
22 – I'm an art-school dropout. Thankyouverymuchitwasgoodwhileitlasted.
23 – I'm actually grateful that I dropped out cause I only wasted my time there
24 – Living in a strange city for three-ish years made me realize how lonely I really am.
25 – I become Jesus when I am drinking and my ego always fills the room up to the brim.
26 – No matter how great my ego is, I'm always worried about my own abilities. I suck at everything. Even though 99.9% people tell me that I don't. Fools.
27 – I shoot concerts.
28 – I made a few friends in the music industry by doing whatever I'm doing.
29 – I brag about it to all my friends. A lot. It makes me feel superior.
30 – I actually hate concerts. Why? I'm scared of big crowds. That means I never go to a show without a photo pass or my name on the guestlist. Call me a VIP-bitch. 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's lonely at the top.

31 – I photographed about 70 bands... I lost count eventually.
32 – The most notable international artists I photographed shows of include Volbeat, Sabaton, Amorphis and Coheed & Cambria. I'm not a fan of any of these bands.
33 – I secretly wish to photograph Radiohead cause Thom Yorke is God.
34 – The band that got me into concert photography was Uriah Heep. Their show was one of my first concerts that moved me to tears.
35 – The craziest venue I ever worked at was the Olympic Stadium of Innsbruck. 20.000 cheering people behind your back. The energy-boost was incredible.
36 – I almost got to shoot Placebo in 2016.
37 – My all-time favorite band called it quits in 2016 too. I'll forever regret the fact that I never went to see/photograph them for the first and last time...
38 – I run a music blog.
39 – It's quite a thing in Scandinavia.
40 – I hate festivals.
41 – I had a plastic surgery. I totally get why some women get hooked to it.
42 – I think that's what got me into fashion.
43 – I actually collect fashion magazines. Mostly because of the photographs. Great inspiration.
44 – Besides collecting fashion magazines, I collect vinyl records.
45 – I'm still madly in love with Hedi Slimane's vision of Saint Laurent and I'm dying to see whatever he's gonna make from Celine. (Edit: He nailed his first collection.)
46 – I got into collecting designer clothes more recently too. 🤷🏻‍♀️
47 – The Czechoslovakian fashion photographer Robert Vano happens to be my mentor. He fled to the US in the 70s cause the regime didn't allow him to work as an artist.
48 – He inspired me to fuck everything and go my own way, saying that I should continue doing whatever I do. Somebody will eventually notice my work sooner or later.
49 – My work was featured at an exhibition for up and coming photographers in Chomutov, CZ. Curated by Robert Vano, of course.
50 – I guess that exhibition made me realize that photography is definitely the right and the only way for me.

The man, the myth, the legend. Mr Robert Vano. On a smoking break.

51 – I kinda want to be famous. But who doesn't?
52 – My ultimate goal is to do an editorial for Vogue. Go big or go home.
53 – I refrained myself from visiting Fotografiska in Stockholm. "Ugh, guess I'll visit it when I'll have my own exhibition there...". That's what I told myself when I stood in front of it.
54 – I actually have two ideas for an exhibition. One of them is already in the works... 😏
55 – I don't really have goals though.
56 – I spent more time in Stockholm this year than I did in my hometown.
57 – I always wanted to move to Finland or Sweden.
58 – Scandinavia fascinates me and I actually tried to learn Finnish... My Swedish is better though, so I stick with it.
59 – I'm certain that I'd actually have a future as a music photographer in Sweden as the music industry is a far cry from the one in Austria/Germany. (Edit: I'm collaborating with a Swedish music photography agency. I'm one of their German freelancers now.)
60 – I was in a few bands myself. As a singer. And a bassist.
61 – All the bands I was in sucked, so I decided to turn to this strange one-woman-project. Here's what it kinda sounds like: https://steemit.com/music/@stacyisacoolcat/i-covered-a-song-and-this-is-what-happened
62 – My beliefs and opinions are unpopular.
63 – My friends criticized me because of that and tried to make me a better person, fitting their ideal version of society.
64 – They gave up and they all hate me now.
65 – I don't really give a fuck about them either.
666 – I'm the most selfish person I've ever met.
67 – Social media is not a place where I'd like to promote my work. Of course I use Instagram, but that's not the place where my work would be appreciated.
68 – I use Facebook for networking only.
69 – I'm seriously thinking about getting facial fillers sooner or later...
70 – I admit I have no idea what I'm saying right now.

Yes, that's me shot by me in Stockholm as of September 2018. Casually wearing Saint Laurent, Marimekko and Alexander McQueen. But which piece is which?

71 – This list sucks.
72 – I paid a lot on speeding tickets.
72 – But I never learn and still think it's acceptable to break speed limits and go 140 km/h at 100 km/h roads.
73 – I shouldn't have bought a car marketed as a consumer friendly low class sports car.
74 – But it's a Skoda. Skoda is a Czech company. I only drive cars from or manufactured in the Czech Republic.
75 – Sometimes I wish I could return home.
76 – But then I think about money and figure out that low-wage in the Czech Republic means like 300€ on fulltime basis???
77 – I am more than happy that my homeland didn't accept Euro though.
78 – I like my president.
79 – Why am I doing this?
80 – You are probably not reading anymore.
81 – Does this mean I can write anything I like? No, it doesn't.
82 – I'm a horrible person.
83 – I remember beating up a girl with a huge dictionary. Yes, I have anger management issues.
84 – I'd LOVE – L.O.V.E. – to be taller than 170cm.
85 – I'd also love to be lightly underweight again. I felt good. Even though everyone around me was like "Ur ruining yourself, girl...".
86 – Sometimes, my diet consists of Diet Coke/coffee and cigarettes.
87 – I just don't give a single damn anymore. As one of my favorite songwriters says: "VI SKA ALLA EN GÅNG DÖ". That means "We will all die one day" in Swedish. What a genius.
88 – I cut my own bangs/hair when I'm wasted. Keep scissors away from me.
89 – Or don't. I like the results anyway.
90 – My hairdresser doesn't. "Did you cut it yourself again?" "YES." "Oh for fuck's sake..." "But I didn't butcher it." "THAT'S THE THING!"
91 – I used to sport blue, red and badly bleached hair. Recently, me and my stylist went for pink. PINK.
92 – It was the best and the worst thing ever.
93 – Honestly, it was so fucking ugly.
94 – But people loved it. So I learned to love it too.
95 – Admit it... Blondes have more fun.

Pink is not my cup of tea when it comes to hair. I'm sorry, I'm too fucked up to censor my face. Smeared make-up is apparently the thing and filters are so 2015!

96 – I have a valid passport. Who doesn't?!
97 – Why am I still doing this to myself?
98 – At some point, I wanted to buy a fucked up and abandoned warehouse in front my apartment and renovate it.
99 – Mortgages suck, so I didn't end up buying it.
100 – 56 more facts to go. I hope you are happy.
101 – I need to build by own photostudio somewhere. I have no idea where.
102 – My very first school-presentation was about a book with Austrian fairytales or something. I was so fucking ashamed of my German back then I couldn't go on and broke out crying. I remember getting a good grade for effort and cried even more.
103 – I CRY A LOT AND IT'S HORRIBLE.
104 – I think it's evident that I kinda lost interest in this list.
105 – If I'd be a cartoon character, I'd probably be that one white lady-cat from Disney's The Aristocats?! Honestly, I have no idea.
106 – Have you heard about Klaus Nomi? That guy's aesthetic never ceases to amaze me.
107 – I tried to get into these Japanese manga things... Because of a friend of mine. Nope. Wasn't intellectually stimulating at all.
108 – I am a self appointed meme-queen.
109 – I forget things. Often. Very often.
110 – Feel free to feel overly honored when I remember your name. That means something.
111 – If I call you by your first name (has anyone ever seen that one movie going by the name "Call me by your name"? Haha.) you're probably an important person to me.
112 – I'd forget my name if it wouldn't be printed in my passport.
113 – The next one is great.
115 – I'm afraid of flying. But I do it anyway. Work doesn't come all the way to you so you gotta fly.
116 – I don't know why I'm scared of flying.
117 – Oh, now I know. Because I usually fly with Czech Airlines. #flyok #fuckyourselvesok
118 – But they're affordable. #justczechthings
119 – This is some kind of a personal blog for me.
120 – I enjoy the freedom this platform offers. It's like nobody cares about what kind of bullshit I'm usually posting here. And that's the coolest thing about @steemit!

Here's me in 2016ish in Vienna. Recording Pop music. Pre-plastic-surgery. Pre-bleached-eyebrows. Size XL. My eyeliner wasn't as huge as it is now. I was sane then. (I'm generally size S now. Except for Saint Laurent. That stayed XL. In 2016ish this bitch wouldn't fit into ANY of their clothes. BUT WHY AM I TELLING ANYONE???)

121 – I didn't want this to become a face reveal.
122 – But nobody cares.
123 – Avril Lavigne's albums are my guilty pleasures.
124 – I don't get the concept of guilty pleasures.
125 – Guilty pleasures developed when I was still deep into Metal music and felt the need to take a break and listen to Britney sometimes. For example...
126 – I used to love Black Metal. It made me feel so edgy.
127 – Sometimes, I write controversial articles about music.
128 – Sony Music is the devil.
129 – Most of my photographs are music-related anyway. I work with "catchphrases" from songs when working on a fashion shoot.
130 – I scream at my models. Sometimes.
131 – I usually say that I'm easy to work with. In fact, I'm a complex pain in the ass and I get pissed easily when things don't work according to plan.
132 – Schedules. Are. Everything. No. Matter. What. You. Do.
133 – My first surgery was a nasal polyp removal. I was 7 and meanwhile they grew back, which means that I can't breathe in certain positions.
134 – But I don't really care about it.
135 – I'm not really into movies.
136 – Mostly because I can't concentrate.
137 – I'm not into movies, but I adore Czechoslovakian filmography.
138 – "Tajemství hradu v Karpatech" by Oldřich Lipský from 1981 is probably my all-time favorite movie. (Here's something about it: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mysterious_Castle_in_the_Carpathians) Unfortunately, the Czech wordplays just don't get through in the subtitled versions I watched.
139 – My music and film taste is described as boring and depressing by my friends.
140 – I organized a show once. I loved and hated it at the same time.

Shamelessly promoting yourdeadpartner.com in Finland. October 2017.

141 – I was asked to design a cover artwork for one American band. They didn't use it in the end. Fuckers.
142 – I don't really have idols.
143 – I have a weird obsessions with crosses. Not only in a religious way. I think they're visually appealing.
144 – I own way too many leather jackets. Yes, they're all different. And yes, I need them. And yes, I need another one.
145 – I'm Czech and I kinda hate beer.
146 – Ten more to go! We almost made it!
147 – I learned the Cyrillic alphabet in one day.
148 – I used to have an eyebrow piercing. Why???
149 – Speaking about eyebrows, I hate them so much I regularly bleach them. It's a painful process, but still the best way of self-harming.
150 – I'm full of shit.
151 – I start new projects fast and abandon them even faster.
152 – This list got irrelevant too soon and I'm sorry about it.
153 – I do not photograph weddings.
154 – Sometimes, I listen to certain songs on repeat and wonder why the hell I did that in the first place.
155 – I'm not a fan of Photoshop and I don't rely on vigorous editing when it comes to my work. It's not a question of professionality. It's a question of style.
156 – If you made it this far, let me know. I'll give you a medal or something.

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And now you know just too much about me so you might just as well follow me here and call me your best friend. Or that weird bitch from the internet. That's also an option.
I spent around three months on this post. GIVE IT SOME LOVE! 🤷🏻‍♀️

At the end of every article, I find it fun to give you a song. So here's a miserable one to end all the misery. And yes, everything has its own time:

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Peace be with you and take care. ✨
Stacy, the cool cat.