Mama I'm in love with a criminal - 27 with 7 kids on different fathers - Will you judge me for who I am - a Story I Should Never Tell

This is not how I pictured myself as woman (when I grew up as a kid) I would picture myself having a better life and a brighter future during high school days. yet am a dreamer, a goal digger who had never thought of anything like this, and who would have thought I would end up this way?

This is not the kind of life I dreamed for, I see myself as a successful person, a business woman, a good daughter to my parents and a good wife to my future husband and a good mother to my future kids, That is just how I see my life as a dreamer. I would think of a beautiful house and a pool along with my future husband and my future kids. But all those dreams had vanished in just a wink of an eye. I never thought of having a boyfriend when I was in high school as I only had one goal that time, and that is to finish my studies.

Just like a normal person who wants to have a good life, to make the story short, I met a guy (a really good looking guy) who happens to be my friend's cousin, (that was during my high school days) I was 3rd year high school that time when I met him, he seems nice and gentleman, he would give me flowers and chocolates, (you know just like what most guys do when courting someone) so that's how it happens, that's how our love story begun.

I was never really into it, even though I like him, because I never really wanted to have a boyfriend that time, I wanted to finish high school and college first! but then how can I stop my heart from beating for that one special person, I know it's crazy but hey, I am only human being, why not give it a try (that's how I would talk to myself every time I think of him) He's being supportive in everything I do, he's been there for me all the time, in good times and in bad, so I thought it's not that bad to have an inspiration while studying.

My parents was against it, as they wanted me to finish my studies first, before entering into such relationship, but what can I do? am only human, I'm not perfect, and I fall in love, I don't think it's a crime. Our relationship has gotten better and better but then during 4th year high school I got pregnant, it happens when a friend of mine invited us (me and my boyfriend) to her birthday, we went there and my friend offered us a drink and that's how it started the heat begins.

How stupid it can be, but the feeling was great, you just can't ignore it, and you're in love with the person, whether it is right or wrong, for sure it is not an accident, we both like it, and from there it happens again, ( I mean over and over again) they said once you try it, you would want to do it over and over again. Though the feeling is great, I still think, it wasn't right, because I am done fulfilling my dreams yet, no matter how I try to say no, I just can't say no to him. We kept doing it until I got pregnant. Looking at my boyfriend, I know he wasn't ready for that, he's not really to become a father, he was young, I was young, it was just a stupid mistakes that we have made.

My boyfriend never wanted the baby and wanted me to abort the baby which I refused to do, when he found out that I was pregnant he became cold blooded to me I thought he would be happy finding out that he's gonna be a father soon. I was stressed and depressed, knowing that the father of my first baby isn't there to supports me emotionally and mentally. I know I had to talk to my parents about it, since I have no one else to listen to me and to understand what I'm going through but them. My parents were disappointed, my boyfriend just left me and transferred himself to another school. It was a hard battle because I'm only 16 that time and I don't know anything about motherhood.

By the time my parents found out about my pregnancy, they told me I had to stop studying, which makes me sad but I know I just had to do whatever they said, for the sake of my baby. To make the story short, I gave birth to a healthy baby boy that totally looks like his father. I've contacted my ex boyfriend and asked him he might wanted to see his baby boy but he's not answering the phone until I lose hope and stopped trying. and just continued my life.

Being a mother is just a wonderful thing, but when you are single raising your child and there's no one else to help you with it (like your partner) was the hardest part, although I'm still thinking that my parents were there to help me with everything.

(to be continued) I gotta sleep for now... I will add up the whole story when I wake up thank you for reading.

photo credit: https://pixabay.com/en/sad-girl-red-rose-lonely-depressive-3007323/