Howdy there, dear @kellycroot ,
A very interestingly written post! When it comes to newbies, I am fresher than the harvest... just joined Steemit. Well, I guess you're kinda on the same side of the spectrum :D
I have recently written a post about myself, which is a bit more than just an intro. I am positive that you find it somewhat interesting or whimsically funny.
https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@themockmann/howdy-whooooo-namaste-from-themockmann-your-experimentalist-nerd-fitness-and-strength-enthusiast-and-a-cryptotrader-and-hodler