My Life Against All Odds

Hi, I’m here to share about my life.
I'm Trace. I’m 21 years old, from Indonesia. I’m a female, born as one of minority tribe and religion.
I'm visual, logic, and socially awkward (or maybe not really sociable).

I was born at 1997. When I was 3, I love draw at anyplace, including at the house wall. My parents gave me some merged papers as a scrapbook so I can draw. I’m also quite a fast learner, my mom told me that I could remember all animals name that she taught to me at 3, so she taught me how to read. Hence, I can read at 4.

My childhood quite happy before the school. I don’t take kindergarten, I’m a happy kid, I play and have fun, mostly with my family. Oh yeah, I remember my family celeberate my 4th birthday party with my aunt, cousins, and other family members, I’m not quite remember the people since I was 4 years old. My parents often bring me to parks and playgrounds.

When I was 6, my parents take me to study at elementary school.
At first years, I was really smart, fill with knowledge and also troublesome kid, I walked back and forth around the class even all the students already sat. I also remember that I told my teacher enthusiastically that tongue can sense 4 kinds of taste.

At the first grade, I ever took some task to make some horn-like line on a notebook, maybe because I’m not really neat so I get 6 score in 10 scale. My parents teach me to make it more neatly. My parents also recognize that I have some trouble with my eyesight. They took me to eye hospital, and the doctor said that I have myopia, at right eye it’s -2,5, and left eye it’s -4. I get a rounded shape glasses.

I also had a dengue fever at almost the end of first grade. I am gaining weigh so much that make me fat.
I have difficulties to socialize and suffer from bullying since my childhood (now I'm college student). People think I'm weird or freak, and nerd. People often offend and attack me verbally. I ever bullied by a group of people.

Since my childhood I love reading books, especially scientific related books, such as human medicine, animal and insects, plants, gardening, experiments, etc. I often spend my time in front of computer, drawing and painting to spend my free time when other people go to the mall or other nice place with their friends.

In my school, I tried to make friends, but I can't keep it in long-term. I tried to make friends, especially the close one, but it ended they were making fun of me or just come to me when they needed, especially when it comes to school task or exam, but when I need their help, they just act like I'm not here. people just spread gossip about me to make my friends go from me because my friends suddenly took a distance to me and then act that I'm not here, and when I was walking near them, I look they were whispering each other, sometimes with laugh.
I have a best friend at elementary school but we separated when we enter different junior high school.

I pretended to be happy, but I was broken inside. I want to cry and tell all of my feeling to someone, but I don't have someone to share my real feeling. It's hard to believe someone again.

Luckily, I have parents who support me and taught how to fight against them. The problem is, they force me to be strong and not to cry. They tease me when I cry even just in front of their eyes.

Now I am still suffer from bullying, I am tomboy and learn martial arts to defend my self. I have several imaginary best friend, and I'm in love with one of them. I don't it's normal or not. But, at least, things become quite better because some people are more nice in college, even though I sometimes have the same problem.

When I feel upset in real world, I go to sleep and imagining I'm in my world when no ones can hurt me and I can everything that I can't get in real world. That's the way I cope with sadness and loneliness.

With my logic, nerdiness tomboyness, and imaginary world, I won biology olympiad at my city when I was in senior high school. I also win visual art sompetition when college.

I ever tried to make small business, but it's not really long lasting because I am just making it for money to make other business that I really passionate.

I want to do genetic and stem cell research, many people so unlucky to get proper organs and body type. With this stem cell advancement, people don’t need to suffer waiting for the right organs, they even don’t need to go to black market just because they just want to be alive.

I also have a concern about Elon Muk’s Neuralink. Neuralink is a project to make machine to increase the abiility of brain. The machine is synthetic and will plugged to brain and spinal chord. He also wants to connect the brain to the internet. The neuralink tools can’t be unplugged or plugged by yourself because it’s through surgery.

My worry is if authoritarian government will plug it to your brain and they control your brain to the internet, just like 1989 book by George Orwell. Or an AI (which is something Elon Musk afraid of) will hack our brain through the internet and controlling our mind. With this genetic and stem cell research, I hope we can advanced our brain function without something that can be hacked/hijacked through external source. And also it’s far more organic. It can also help disabled people with it. (Note: Elon Musk only involving an engineer, he is even not involving people from medical background).

I also want to make inclusive school where many kinds of people are accepted here, including people with asperger/autism spectrum and down syndrome, have more flexible time and less pressure of subjects and grades. So, the student can really enjoy and get their meaningful life and definately, reach their true potential.

What's my effort now? I am trying to make money as a freelancers though I am still college student.