I don't want to do suicide, that's why I am here

Hi, my name is neeraj sharma and I am from india. Everybody on social media platform is always showoff the lifestyle but I am here just to express my feelings. From some weeks or month I am not feeling well because of some bad decisions I have a loan over lacs (around 70k $). When you have money then everyone loves you but without money everyone ignore you. They have a fear from you that you ask for money. I am In that condition. I gave some money to friends when they needed and now they ignored me. Family member also taunting all the time. When I need money they give me some lessons.
I want to share my feeling to friends and family but nobody understands. Then I remember steemit. I used it 3- 4 yrs ago but not so seriously. I know here nobody read my post that's why I am posting here to express my feelings. My wife said to me that you don't have courage to commit suicide. I want to tell her something but I can't. Here I can post.I have courage but I think that what my child will do in life after my death. Because I know the feelings when your father passed away in your childhood.
I did so many bad decision in my life. From some days I have bad feelings and I will try to express myself. Please follow me if you want to know about my life story. It will not be inspiring but it will tell you what you not to do in life. And please help and support me with just 1$. Where 70k steem family will support me then my loan will also complete and I will alive.
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