Well, technically I'm not a granny because my son has not yet procreated. But checking the mirror in the morning, feeling my aching bones just before getting out of bed - yes I definitly feel old...ish.
Beeing old is one thing, feeling old is something different. And I have been feeling old for many years. Not because of my age (I'm only 58), but because of some autoimmune diseases that I have: Hashimoto's thyreoiditis and Fibromyalgia. Both can be detrimental to the psyche, so it is sensible to develop some kind of black humor early on in life to keep afloat.
Yes, I did have my struggles and more losses than wins - but I never ever lost my positive perspective on life. I you have to live this life anyway, you might as well enjoy it - right? And yes, despite everything that has happened, I did enjoy my life - mostly. While wondering all the time, why many things seemed to be so much harder for me than for other people.
Oh yeah, I had my fair share of "why me?" accompanied by self-pity. Feeling overwhelmed by almost everything, a constant feeling of burnout - and all that before I even left the house. Finding a job has always been easy, but keeping it proved to be impossible for me.
Two and a half years ago I got the answer I have been searching for all my life (and 42 may indeed be part of that answer). My doctor suspected I might be autistic. At first, I totally rejected this possibility. After all - I am weird, but I am no rainman and I definitely do not excel in any particular field. But I did some research and finally found out, that most of my problems could be explained by having Asperger's. Wow - what a revelation.
I got the official diagnosis last year - at the age of 57.
Anything else you want to know about me? Just ask - and I will most probably answer.