View this post on Hive: The ultimate strategy guide to a Jello Disc competition

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The is scant information on the World Wide Web regarding the art of the Jello Disc. However, a tailored Google search will uncover some references to this great tradition, which appears to has been making appearances in the Philadelphia Ultimate scene since at least 2012. For example, see these digital artifacts from 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, and 2017.

Now in 2018, having just made Jello Discs for the first time and having won my fourth Jello Disc competition (lifetime undefeated), I feel ready to share this incredible activity with the world. With hopes to propel this sport to a new level of greatness and caliber of play, I will share all the secrets of victory I have acquired and refined since migrating to Philadelphia.

But first, here is a picture of the arena proceeding last weekend's Summer League finals competition.

Recipe

Since jello discs are consumed in a competitive eating environment, it is crucial that each disc is prepared in accordance with tradition and league standards. First make sure you have the proper plastic: a Discraft 175 gram Ultra-Star disc (technically not a "Frisbee", which is a trademark-encumbered disc produced by Wham-O with terrible flying properties). Start with the disc and the jello:

Ingredients

• 1 flying disc
• 2 × 3-ounce packets of Jell-O
• 2 cups boiling water
• 1 cup cold water
• 1 cup 80-proof spirits (40% alcohol by volume)

Preparation

Mix the 2 cups boiling water with the jello powder and stir until the powder is completely dissolved. This could take up till two minutes. Once dissolved, pour in the cup of spirits and cup of cold water. After a short stir, the mixture is ready to be poured into a disc. Once in a disc, the mixture must stay refrigerated until shortly before race time. The jello will take several hours (up to eight) to solidify, so it's best to leave it overnight.

Here is some additional preparation advice I gleaned from the experts. Consider placing the disc in the refrigerator before pouring in the mixture. This minimizes the change of spillage. Pizza boxes can be used as a scaffold to stack many discs vertically in a fridge.

You will notice that I had marked my discs with permanent marker. However, as I observed this is not ideal. Most of the marker had disappeared by time the race was over, presumably dissolved by the foreign spirits. Also I had placed plastic wrap on top of the liquid layer, which helped keep dust out but resulted in a less smooth finish... so not recommended.

Here is another protip of which I was sworn to secrecy. If Julie finds out I've spilled the beans, she will likely never forgive me. But I know deep in my heart that the information needs to be free, such that all can share in the rewards of this powerful technique. I won't give the secret away 100%, but let me just say that you should consider coating your disk with a hydrophobic & edible lubricant prior to pouring in the liquid jello.

Competition

In a Jello Disc race, teams compete to finish the jello in their disc first. Only one person can be touching a disc at any given time. You can only touch your own teams disc. You must continue in the same order after the first cycle of teammates. Now here is the most important rule. You can only touch the disc with your face. No hands!

In one variant of the rules, a player can pick up the disc, but then must finish the entirety of the remaining jello by him or herself. The benefit of this variant is that it actively communicates to the judges that a team thinks they're close to finishing. However, it also means that one player on a team ends up playing a much larger role.

One issue with this event is that there is often insufficient refereeing. For example, a team may celebrate having won with jello still remaining on the disc. Thus I recommend appointing a single non-partisan judge prior to the match commencing.

To see how this works in practice, here is the video of my first Jello Disc race from 2017:

And here's another recording, this time 2012, I found linked to from the PADA Forums.

Strategy

Here I will divulge the state of the art, in terms of competitive strategy. Now in the excitement of the moments leading up to a competition, many people like to pretend they know all the strategy. However, they almost always do not. Only one person (besides me & soon you) knows the full strategy. His name is Alan. He taught me everything I know about this sport, and at the last competition my team demolished his.

First, let me present a guiding principle: the goal is to apply max slurphalation (i.e. slurp + inhalation) suction to the jello as consistently as possible. Anytime, there is not someone actively on the disk, precious time is being wasted. Anytime someone is active on the disk but not applying maximum slurphalation, opportunity is also being wasted.

So here are the specific insights according to this philosophy:

1. Enter on the left, exit on the right. By following a clockwise rotation, you avoid the player exiting the discspace from colliding with the entering player. Furthermore, as you slurphale, shift your body from left to right. The following player should come in from the right and have their cheek close to yours such that they can immediately engage as you release.
2. Fill your mouth while active and then get back in line. Swallow in line, never as an active slurper! If you try to accomplish too much by yourself and waste disc time swallowing, you will be harming your team.
3. As exiting, move the disc back to its ideal location. Since you cannot use hands, it's common for the disk to get pushed out of position. It's possible to return it to the ideal position with a little tug from your face.
4. I have not tried this technique nor do I necessarily endorse it, but some teams have the initial player gyrate their face in the jello to break it up. However, I tend to think the gelatin connectivity is a benefit as you can often use it to help capture additional jello via a chain effect.

Winning the Jello Disc race was a good ending to a good season of Ultimate. I will leave you with a team picture for "Stinky Pinky", which was commandeered by a four-legged friend:

License

This post as well as its images are released under a CC BY 4.0 License. Republish or reuse this content, but please attribute by linking to this Steem post.