My Awakening (SWC)

@jerrybanfield this is my best attempt to share my story, its a difficult story to try to capture....

Throughout my life I have had some pretty interesting spiritual awakenings, happenings, and unknowns. I will attempt for the first time ever to express fully what I perceive as my greatest spiritual awakening. It will be filled with controversial information and yet it is my reality and truth.
A little bit of background I have used drugs throughout my life and have had many different experiences on drugs like MDMA, LSD, and Magic Mushrooms, and then I have suffered from addiction to methamphetamine as well. So its been quite an interesting life to say the least, now when you add my personal spiritual belief structure into the paradigm you get a mixture of convoluted experiences and happenings.
For this writing I want to focus on a time frame in which I was suffering from meth addiction. During this horrible time in my life I was tormented by delusions of evil, literally I would see manifestations of evil images, evil dogs and just evil all around....See my christian fundemental beliefs associated my behavior and surroundings with the presence of evil, and or the devil, as well during this addiction time period I believed that God was absent and God was mad at me. Due to this deep rooted belief in an angry God, my mind would see evil as the supernatural manifestations or delusions..Who really knows, was it manifestations or delusions?
Fast forward a couple years clean and a whole lot of time studying the message of grace and love and praying to God all the time, now during a short one night relapse I begin to see and experience angelic manifestations and beauty, was my vibrational frequency changed, was my pineal gland healed? Who really knows, but this was my new reality, and this is just a bit of background information for the next part of the story.
Now to the amazing spiritual awakening. I had relapsed once again on meth, but during my relapse for the 24 hour period instead of seeking out sex, and physical sensations I would write and pray seeking God, I know its weird but this is what happened..Something inside me had changed my high was no longer the same, it was now a spiritual experience as if God was meeting me right in the middle of my struggles, I mean a presence of euphoria like never experienced, visualisations like never seen before....The most amazing presence of acceptance, love, and beauty in the midst of what I considered my struggle....My mind never comprehended it and even fought it because I was programmed to believe I was a sinner and God didn't want anything to do with this behavior, yet I was met with this grace and love never known......
Well the next 3 days while sober are what I call my greatest spiritual awakening. As I walked in a park singing and praying to know God and seeking God with everything I had inside, my belly began to quiver and then an energy began to vibrate from my belly up to the top of my head, and out through my hands so intensely that it kinda hurt...This vibration literally felt like it extended 20 feet outward from my hands, my eye brows vibrated, my head vibrated, and my arms were like an electric source shooting energy into the universe.....I began to get deep revelation, and all that I thought was true began to fade away....I was experiencing something supernatural and had no clue what it was. For the next few hours this continued in strength and magnitude, as I would weep and revelate within. It seemed like everything and anything bad was leaving me and somehow everything was changing. This actually happened again twice more the next few days, it was so unknown, so scary, and yet I knew deep inside it was good. Something amazing was happening and I had no clue what. All I know is I wept and wept and wept for so many things, my past, other people, and just so many situations....All while I had this surge of energy running through my body with a tingling all throughout my face, it was intense. I tried asking people in my christian circle but they thought I was crazy and had no answers. Now prior to this experience I was also amazed by all the times I was seeing 11:11, 77, and 55.....It was like a message was being sent to me prior to this all happening.
Now looking back at this experience which was about 8 months ago, I believe it was my chakras fully opening and me entering into a journey of truth and boy has everything changed. Since that all happened I have escaped the lies of fundemental christianity, I have been opened to the Universal Love, my dreams and hopes have changed, my beliefs have changed and I am constantly unlearning lies I once believed, whether it be conspiracy theories, false doctrine, hate, pride, or all the false narratives I believed about the world and me. It has been a rollercoaster of feelings and emotions weeding through the lies of seperation, deception, and religion but what a beautiful journey it has been...I am so grateful for this journey, and my new found freedom. I also since this happened have had no urges for meth use or any other addicting drugs.....I also have come to find new truth about different forms of drugs and their positive contributions if handled properly and used at the right time and age, that's a whole other discussion, but an important one.
My spiritual awakening has forever changed me and I am grateful to God and all of the Universe! The greatest value in which this transformation has brought is the ability to love all. I along with my knew found love have become a vegetarian, and very aware of our Universal Oneness. I used to see evil in people and situations now I find good in all, because in all we are One. Thank you for letting me share my story.

Much Love and Blessings🙏🙏🙏