Moving to hive

I have prayed all these years, I feel lonely. Could you build a road, a bridge for me that would connect this island to the land so that I can go to the city and enjoy company of other people?

God is not so pleased:

What kind of wish is that? It's not ecological, you can easily use a boat to go there. Would there be any other, different wish I would fulfil for you?

The man keeps thinking for a while and then replies:

You see, I had a girlfriend when I was young, and I have always wondered how women work, how do they approach world. I could not understand her very much.

And God keeps thinking for a while and then:

Ok, so how wide is the road supposed to be?

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1 vote

[-]

nonechangeles (53) · 7 years ago

A woman says to her husband:

If a lion attacked me and my mother, who would you save first?
Well, the lion!

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4 votes

[-]

mindtrap (74) · 7 years ago

Nailed it

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[-]

celsius100 (54) · 7 years ago

A husband and wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. "Ooh, I look like a pig!".
The man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"

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2 votes

[-]

hitmeasap (71) · 7 years ago

Q. What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?

A. Can you please be more Pacific?

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1 vote

[-]

dragonking (57) · 7 years ago

I find where's my home. I gotta fly for seek. Did you know dragonking's home? I couldn't remember. I drunk whiskey without limitations.

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1 vote

[-]

lunaticpandora (69) · 7 years ago (edited)

Are you ok? You have been posting a lot lately... Are you feeling lonely or in need of company?

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1 vote

[-]

berniesanders (77) · 7 years ago

lol I’m actually great, thank you for the concern

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11 votes

[-]

c0debabe (32) · 7 years ago

He's trying to distract everyone from the falling coin prices 🤣

Posted using Partiko Android

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[-]

thecastle (68) · 7 years ago

Bitcoin fans want decentralization but also want the entire market to be centered on Bitcoin. That's the biggest joke in this scene so far!

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1 vote

[-]

berniesanders (77) · 7 years ago

Hmmm it is ironic

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11 votes

[-]

baselogoo (45) · 7 years ago

There was a cat with 16 lives, crushed by a 4x4 and died.

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1 vote

[-]

themarkymark (78) · 7 years ago

I like to tell this one to the kids.

I was at the grocery store the other day and the bagger asked if I wanted my milk in the bag.

I responded "No thanks, I'd prefer to keep it in the carton."

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2 votes

[-]

moniristi (58) · 7 years ago

I am king of the world ... LOl

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1 vote

[-]

aflatunnisa (6) · 7 years ago

Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.

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1 vote

[-]

shihabieee (8) · 7 years ago (edited)

$1 SBD = 100 USD lol

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1 vote

[-]

aburashed (53) · 7 years ago

Q. What did the girl cat say to the boy cat on Valentine’s Day?

A. You’re purrr-fect for me.

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2 votes

[-]

hafez (0) · 7 years ago

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Reveal Comment

[-]

wholeself-in (57) · 7 years ago

Is that 10 units of pain??

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[-]

alishannoor (64) · 7 years ago

bitcoin will be hit 50 K by the end of 2019 :P@berneisanders

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1 vote

[-]

bethalea (63) · 7 years ago

holy shit, dude. i didn't give you a joke earlier because i was sure you were gonna get a metric shit ton of good jokes but like... jeezus. @themarkymark, et tu, Brute? :rolling_eyes:

anyway.

How do you find Ronald McDonald on a nudist beach?

You look for sesame seed buns!

Whatever. I'll try harder someday, prolly.

;)

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1 vote

[-]

subodhkumarmahto (34) · 7 years ago

@berniesanders all steemit users will be millionaire one day

Posted using Partiko Android

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1 vote

[-]

ackenna (32) · 7 years ago

A joke...
👍👍👍🙌🙌🙌🍺🍻🤘🤪

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1 vote

[-]

sujonxr (50) · 7 years ago

Once upon tome a man go to participate a marriage party.After the party when he go to the home than he see her friend in the way.Her friend where you coming than he said about party.After thay her friend asked him what he give on the party?what he eat in the party?and what he take in this party.The man replied that he give run,ear bark and take pain.

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1 vote

[-]

dreamryder007 (67) · 7 years ago

Stinc is a well run operation. :))

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1 vote

[-]

mirzacho (60) · 7 years ago

Mark Zuckerberg finally have a steemit account

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1 vote

[-]

cryptojiang (60) · 7 years ago

bitconnect

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[-]

lucylin (67) · 7 years ago

If you tell the truth and write good posts everyday, you will be rewarded on steemit.
4 word posts will never get you anywhere.

...oops, I did it again...

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[-]

idkpdx (57) · 7 years ago

what do you call a pile of cats?

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[-]

berniesanders (77) · 7 years ago

Gross.

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13 votes

[-]

scan0017 (65) · 7 years ago

LOL! 😂

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1 vote

[-]

idkpdx (57) · 7 years ago

hahahha a meowtain.

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[-]

wholeself-in (57) · 7 years ago

Maelstrom.

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[-]

itstime (60) · 7 years ago

CRYPTOCURRENCY as investment asset starting 2018....

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[-]

allcapsonezero (61) · 7 years ago

Why did the scarecrow get a medal?

Because he was outstanding in his field

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[-]

us1 (25) · 7 years ago

Ermm.... @haejin loves you. :-)

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[-]

kiwiscanfly (78) · 7 years ago

I am a joke - have a look at this 1 minute 23 of your life wasted

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kingsberry (58) · 7 years ago

My wife accept my rules :)
Unbelievable.....

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[-]

sunit (61) · 7 years ago

DON'T GIVE ANY CLOTHES TO MAID

A lady gave some of her old sarees to her maid n said,.. "Take these, & use them,.. They are of good quality & I don't wanna throw them, just that they are old, you use them all..!!"

After 3 days, maid returned all the old sarees to the lady & said
"Madam, please take back your clothes... Because, your husband thinks I'm you, & ignores ME all the time,..
& I wonder why, from past 3 days, your neighbours Sharmaji, Guptaji, & Mishra ji are coming & hugging me from behind..!! 😛😜😜😛😜😛

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[-]

michaeljerry0 (54) · 7 years ago

I gave you and upvote worth 50$ on your articles yesterday! Dont bother to thank me. I am a philantropist

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[-]

charitybot (63) · 7 years ago

I was gonna tell a gay joke, but fuck it.

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[-]

iabuse (57) · 7 years ago

STEEM will hit $1,000 !

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[-]

fr3eze (68) · 7 years ago

Bitcoin at $100k in the end of 2018.

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[-]

happymoneyman (70) · 7 years ago

for a good joke I'll trade some lil debbie's
Or a Holiday item, Chocolate covered pretzels.

Posted using Partiko Android

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[-]

steemitboard (66) · 7 years ago

Congratulations @berniesanders! You have completed the following achievement on Steemit and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :

You published 4 posts in one day

_{Click on the badge to view your Board of Honor.}
_{If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word STOP}

To support your work, I also upvoted your post!

Do you like SteemitBoard's project? Then Vote for its witness and get one more award!

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[-]

akdx (66) · 7 years ago

On steem platform quality contents are rewarded with high upvotes!

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[-]

farmergreen (50) · 7 years ago

Guy sits down next to a girl in a hotel bar and says, "how do you like your eggs in the morning"? She says, "excuse me"? He says, " "scrambled or fertilized."

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[-]

crypto-econom1st (57) · 7 years ago

I'm not really awake as it is 3.50 AM right now.

So give me at least a few more minutes.

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[-]

bearbear613 (67) · 7 years ago

I once wrote a shitblog and I got upvoted by blocktrades for $100

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[-]

ohimahathir (55) · 7 years ago

Jokes

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[-]

mediahousent (67) · 7 years ago

Reading through all comments seems lame but I laughed. 😀😁
No flag war, it is all joke...

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[-]

thecryptoplayer (42) · 7 years ago

My Life

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[-]

pirateofthedtube (52) · 7 years ago

Steemit is a good way to make money

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[-]

scan0017 (65) · 7 years ago

What's the difference between a
Goodyear and a Great year?

One's a tire, the other is a blowjob on your birthday when you're married.

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[-]

scan0017 (65) · 7 years ago

Never play tennis against a wall.

They're relentless...

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[-]

experiment (51) · 7 years ago

Waddaya call a cow with no legs?
.... "Ground" beef.
Okay, so waddaya call a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not gonna come anyways!
:(

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[-]

farmergreen (50) · 7 years ago

What do you call a guy with no arms and mo legs in the swimming pool? Bob.

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experiment (51) · 7 years ago

Haha! And the same guy hanging on the wall?
Art.

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[-]

auliaramadhn (56) · 7 years ago

I received 3 million SP lol :D

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[-]

mrashik (1) · 7 years ago

let me love you...

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[-]

yungchief (63) · 7 years ago

Before now, I thought Steem was the eldest brother of SBD not until yesterday the youngest one suddenly became the eldest. They are now behaving like twins.

Only in Africa, you get a call from a wrong dial and you tell the person you got the wrong number but same person will call you minutes later, asking. Do you know the real number?

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[-]

joythewanderer (78) · 7 years ago (edited)