Jokes

Time for some jokes. Image from google.

A man is walking along the pavement in the Paris suburbs and sees a poodle sitting next to a woman who is drinking coffee outside a cafe. He walks up to the woman and says "Does your dog bite?" The woman looks at the man and smiles, then says "No, my dog doesn't bite." So the man put his hand down to pet the poodle. But, the dog bites his hand, his wrist and his forearm. The man shouts at the woman "Your dog just bit me!!!" The woman smiles again and retorts "That's not my dog!"

A man is walking through the countryside past a farm and reads a sign "Car for sale $5". So he walks into the farmyard and starts talking with the farmer. "Why is the car so cheap?" The farmer answers "It doesn't have an engine." The man thinks for a while then asks "How am I supposed to drive it?" The farmer points towards the barn and says, "Come and meet Gladys." The man follows the farmer expecting to meet the farmers wife, but when entering the barn he sees a 6 feet high chicken. the farmer explains "This is Gladys, I attach her to the car with reigns, and she pulls the car for you." The man asks "How much does the chicken costs?" The farmer answers "She is free." So the man decides to buy the car. The farmer attaches Gladys to the car and explains "To go, you say go Gladys, To stop, you say stop Gladys. To go faster you say, faster Gladys. etc" So the man gets into the car and says "Go Gladys." The chicken starts to trot slowly and the car picks up speed to 10 mph. The man sees a sign to the motorway so joins it. He says "Faster Gladys, faster." Now the chicken starts to canter at a speed of 40 mph. The man shouts "Faster Gladys, faster" The chicken starts to run faster and the car now travels at 70 mph. After about 10 miles the reigns snap and the chicken vanishes into the distance. The car slowly comes to a stop on the hard shoulder, then a policeman stops behind him. The policeman gets out of his car and asks the man "What seems to be the problem?" The man answers "The big hens gone!"