A man walks into a bar and notices a large glass jar stuffed full of many $10 bills. He asks the bartender about the jar, and is told that there is a long-standing contest at the bar that costs $10 to enter, and no patron has ever won. The jackpot has just continued to grow larger.
Intrigued, the man asks what the contest entails, and the bartender explains:
"Well sir, you have to complete three tasks. The first is to drink an entire fifth of tequila, but this isn't any tequila, it's rotgut. Horrible stuff. Comes in a plastic bottle, and worth far less than the $10 you're paying. You have to drink it down in one long gulp.
"Next, you have to go out back where we keep Cupcake tied up. Cupcake is a Doberman with a rotting tooth that's causing him a lot of pain. You'll find a pair of pliers next to the back door, that's the only tool you'll have, and you have to remove Cupcake's bad tooth. Make sure you get the right one!
"Finally, you have to go up to the apartment above the bar and visit old lady Greta. Greta's 77 years old, a spinster and a virgin. Your final task is to seduce and deflower her."
"I'm in!" says the man, slapping down his $10 on the bar. The bartender hands him the cheap tequila and the man makes short work of it, quickly downing the whole thing. As the alcohol is immediately taking effect, he stumbles toward the back door, picks up the pliers, and heads further out toward Cupcake. What ensues is a stream of horrible, gutteral animal sounds. The man is cursing and grunting, Cupcake is shrieking and growling. This goes on for a couple of minutes.
The man charges back in through the door, sweating, gasping, bleeding, clothes ripped to shreds. "All right!" he bellows. "Now where's that old lady who needs her tooth fixed?"