Joke 1

Charlie Chaplin

Original post: http://bit.ly/2DpSGpL

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Joke 2

We should be too big to take offense and too noble to give it. - Abraham Lincoln

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Joke 3

Mary: Did you know that Linda has become a vegetarian?

Jill: Really? Wow!

Mary: Yep, and she's become a lesbian, as well. I guess she doesn't want "meat" of any kind!

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Joke 4

Q: Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
A: Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.

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Joke 5

Little Johnny is approached by the lifeguard at the public swimming pool.

"You're not allowed to pee in the pool," said the lifeguard. "I'm going to report you."

"But everyone pees in the pool," said Little Johnny.

"Maybe," said the lifeguard, "but not from the diving board!"

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Joke 6

A blonde golfer goes into the pro shop and looks around frowning. Finally the pro asks her what she wants. "I can't find any green golf balls," the blonde golfer complains.

The pro looks all over the shop, and through all the catalogs, and finally calls the manufacturers and determines that sure enough, there are no green golf balls.

As the blonde golfer walks out the door in disgust, the pro asks her, "Before you go, could you tell me why you want green golf balls?"

"Well obviously, because they would be so much easier to find in the sand traps!"

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Joke 7

A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist.

The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed there.

She then asked if there was something she could help the gentleman with.

The man said "this is embarrassing for me, but I have a permanent erection which causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment. I was wondering what you could give me for it?"

The pharmacist said "Just a minute, I'll go talk to my sister."

When she returned, she said, "the best we can do is 1/3 ownership in the store and $3000 a month in living expenses."

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Joke 8

Q: Why is sex like a bridge game?
A: You don't need a partner if you have a good hand.

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7 Ways the Blockchain can help the environment

Original post: http://bit.ly/2Dr188g

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Originally post at: https://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2018/02/daily-jokes-from-sydesjokes-for-1-feb.html

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