Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 24 Oct 2017

Joke 1

Dylan Thomas

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/64

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Joke 2

Gettin' married is like getting into a bathtub. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.

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Joke 3

An elderly woman was driving along in her VW Beetle when the motor sputtered. She pulled to the side of the road, got out, and looked under the hood.

Several minutes later another woman stopped her car (also a VW Beetle) and asked if she could be of help. The perplexed owner looked from under the hood and said, "it seems as though I don't have a motor."

The second woman politely answered, "That's okay, I've got an extra one in the trunk you can have."

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Joke 4

Q: Two men are at a restroom, one is entering and the other is leaving. What are their nationalities?
A: Simple! The first is Russian and the second is Finnish.

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Joke 5

Cletus goes to work and sees that one of his co-workers has a thermos.

He asks him what it does, and the co-worker responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."

Cletus is amazed, and when he gets home, he immediately goes out and buys one. The next day he goes to work and is proud that he has this wonderful object.

The same co-worker realizes he has a thermos and says, "What do you have in it?"

He says, "Soup and ice cream!"

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Joke 6

A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results.

I'm afraid I have some very bad news, the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left."

Oh, that's terrible! says the man.

How long have I got?

Ten, the doctor says sadly.

Ten? the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!"

Nine ...

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Joke 7

Employee: Excuse me, sir, may I talk to you?

Boss: Sure, come on in. What can I do for you?

Employee: Well, sir, as you know, I have been an employee of this prestigious firm for over ten years.

Boss: Yes.

Employee: I won't beat around the bush. Sir, I would like a raise. I currently have four companies after me and so I decided to talk to you first.

Boss: A raise? I would love to give you a raise, but this is just not the right time.

Employee: I understand your position, and I know that the current economic downturn has had a negative impact on sales, but you must also take into consideration my hard work, proactiveness, and loyalty to this company for over a decade.

Boss: Taking into account these factors, and considering I don't want to start a brain drain, I'm willing to offer you a ten percent raise and an extra five days of vacation time. How does that sound?

Employee: Great! It's a deal! Thank you, sir!

Boss: Before you go, just out of curiosity, what companies were after you?

Employee: Oh, the Electric Company, the Gas Company, the Water Company, and the Mortgage Company!

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Joke 8

Q: Why does a blonde nurse carry a red Magic Marker?
A: In case she has to draw blood.

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Oprah Winfrey

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/85

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Originally post at: https://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2017/10/daily-jokes-from-sydesjokes-for-24-oct.html

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