Journal Of a Lifetime #1steemCreated with Sketch.

in journal •  7 years ago 

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This is my the Start of my online journal. I am doing this in hopes that it will allow me to share my thoughts and feelings and keep me writing and discovering what it is that is on my mind. This will be a Journey of self discovering. I am a 23 year old white male (Canadian) I am quiet possible in one of the most advantageous positions of earth . But somehow it still doesn't feel that way. I come from a divorced family like many from the age of 12 and somehow this still affects me and my understanding of the world. I didn't even know when I started typing that I was going to bring that up or say that. This Journal I guess will be a place for me to have some sort of self catharsis.

Not always though! I hope to write about many interesting topics from Crypto and Economics, building a green future and sustainable agriculture, healthy living and Even Gaming! I am a build fan of League of Legends and hope to connect with other players on steemit and build a crypto gamers community!

I am not good at writing or spelling but I hope both of these skills will grow and develop as this goes! I plan on writing one of these everyday and hoping that your going to follow along with me on this adventure and maybe help me make sense of my thoughts! I am open to advice and discussion of the ideas that I am writing about and am looking forward to your feedback!

Today I am feeling sore from the gym I have just started going and damn it nice. It feels good to know that I am working towards my own physical capabilities. As you will come to understand if you keep reading this. I am in the habit of constant thinking with only sporadic crystallization of congruent thought . This Paragram was supposed to be about going to the gym and working out but hey I am sorting out my thoughts and this is how it is going to look at first and I am hoping that as I do this my thoughts will start to coagulate and become something material and worthwhile. I have an understanding that I hope one day I will be able to share with the world. At this point though my thoughts are more of a chaotic meandering and have no continuity.

Don't be afraid say something! Comment if you have read this far say something I dont know anything!

I have so much in my mind all of the time. I don't know who I am and who I want to be, I do know that am in a constant such for higher understanding and my thirst for knowledge is nearly unquenchable. #WTF am I writing. # This is all raw

Maybe by Journal number 10 I hope to have something worth reading. If you are reading this now thank you. I am grateful to anyone who reads this and anyone who is listen or thinks I may have something to say. One day I hope to have a voice. A Powerful Voice that people can trust and understand.

So you say you want a Revolution? Well I do.
I want a revolution of Personal understanding .
I want a revolution of Personal growth/
I want a revolution of Love
I want a revolution of Sex
I want a revolution of Wealth
I want a revolution of Money
I want a revolution of Power
I want a revolution of Education
I want a revolution of Energy
I want a revolution of Art
I want a revolution of Green

I want a revolution of Spirit

Maybe this is me building my platform for possible change, maybe this is my platform for me. Maybe this is not something for anyone else but for me and only me. Maybe this is nothing and won't be anything and nothing is anything and nobody ever was. I don't know I know that I am here to Explore and create while I live in Breathe this Is what i Will do. I will breathe I will create and I will explore.

#nothing but anything
What is there I will understand what is there I can explore what is there I want to live for.

I am right here right now I have no other existance then in this moment and nothing else is like the touch of this keyboard on my fingers. I have nothing else that exist right now I know nothing else I am nothing else I am someone that is here typing this. You are someone that is here reading this I am not going. I will keep typing you keep reading something is here.

What is here what is there here. I know I am just filling in space. I now want to create a space. I want to create breathe to explore. This will be my mechanism to expand what it is I am. This is my compost my trash my me and something will grow, someone will be made from this who that is I do not know. I will continue to show my thoughts and share whatever it is I am feeling or think I am going to push myself towards radical honesty. The kind of honest writing that is worth reading. The kind of thing I want to see the kind of world I want to create. I will continue to make this a daily activity from now on. I have a feeling like nothing else right now. What it is I am saying I do not know but I hope to understand by letting it all go. I want to let it all go. I want to step into the light become one illuminated everlasting. Nothing left to search for nothing left unhidden nothing left. I have nothing to lose nothing to lose. What is left right now except my own misunderstanding my insecure delusions (I love tool)

Tool has been with me from around the age of 16 when I saw Maynard on stage in a pink onesie singing Sober. There was nothing like that first month of diving into every song and album and going into another world. What a magical thing it is to be 16 and to listen to music. I have had no more powerful experiences then the ones I had listen to music on my own at home for hours at a time. Magic that's the only thing I can say about it. It was pure magic to me, being transported into higher levels of being and understanding to new plains. Untold stories. What it was I will never understand.

If you've made it this far I have a level of respect for you that only gets higher ':D

What is it that drove me to this. Why cant I stop typing I feel like there is so much more. I have a buildup or something I feel almost a grit in my teeth and explosion in my stomach that is being slowly released. Ahh I am free it is being free'd what can I say these words have been trapped in my head. What can be said about saying and thinking I dont' know what can be said about thoughts. What can be said about no thought. What is there to say that needs to be said. This Is what I am here to discover.

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