"You may have felt in the dark about your purpose in life. Congratulations, you're about to walk into the light"
Right now my full purpose isn't totally clear yet. I feel like I am in the lowest point of my life right now. Recovering my health and body since I got sick before. Can't apply for a corporate job since I have to prioritize my health. I loved the wrong person and it took me 2 years to find out and admit it to myself. My savings deteriorated coz I can only work freelance and that's not stable. All my friends are on the same boat so nobody will be there to help you. Or give time to listen to you. There are 1 or 2 sometimes. Responsibilities are there too. So at 26, I already experience my biggest downfall. At first, you will question God why it's happening to you when you became a good person or hurt no one. Second, after questioning, you will try to accept that shit really happens. And third, dealing with it. Trying hard to deal with it positively. Everyday, the world will give you reason to fall down aside from the problems you already have. And fighting with those negativities are truly tiring or exhausting.
I was really a positive person and full of motivation before the downfall. I had big dreams. Well, I still have them in my heart till now. And God and my dreams are the reasons why I still have the courage to face daily life's battle. Now, I don't feel empty, I am stronger than before, I know people. I mean some people with shades and not deserved my attention or time. I learned a lot. But I learned those lessons in the hard way. Yeah at some point it ruined my positive and happy life but atleast, I was able to know what really life is. I know I am still in the dark and with this "Purpose Driven life" Journey I am really looking forward to have a new life again. Accept that all things happened are in the past now. Including the people who hurt me. I'm okay now. And ready to walk into the light.
It's not about me
All my life, I thought that life is all about me. Achieving my goals, being happy everyday. That's how ideal my thoughts about life are. I was so self centered but not totally. I spent my life too portraying a role that society and molded me. I spent my life caring too much for other people and thinking about their opinions. As I read this chapter, I realized that life is also about God's purpose for you. And I know God has really a purpose for me. When he healed me when I got sick. I know in myself he has a purpose and I have a mission on earth that I need to fulfill. Life isn't all about me only.
"Everything got started in him and finds its purpose in
him." Colossians 1: 16b
Since most of us are self centered and only care about ourselves, there will be a point in our lives that we will have that wake up call or realization of we started from God and we will find our purpose in him. I was already contented and confident that I had a strong faith with him, trying to live for his words everyday without knowing that there's more to believing and worshipping God. But I realized, God is really with us. He's like a best friend. And all we beed will be provided by him. We are really lucky that we have him coz he gave direction a d purpose to our life. It's hard to live without direction and purpose.
In spite of all the advertising around me, how can I remind myself that life is really about living for God, not myself? I promised that I will live for God not myself but for the past few months I got distracted again. Evil will really try to pull you out from God's purpose. Evil has so many ways and temptations. But I am so happy coz despite of those bad things masked as good or happiness, I was able to find God. To be reminded of him. To continue moving forward going to the end of the dark tunnel where there's light.
Had or having the same journey? share yours by commenting below and I would be very glad to know your stories ;)